Rest, Liberation, Compassion

Luke 13:10-17, The 11th Sunday after Pentecost , August 25, 2019

Luke 13:10-17 New International Version (NIV)

10 On a Sabbath Jesus was teaching in one of the synagogues, 11 and a woman was there who had been crippled by a spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not straighten up at all. 12 When Jesus saw her, he called her forward and said to her, “Woman, you are set free from your infirmity.” 13 Then he put his hands on her, and immediately she straightened up and praised God.

14 Indignant because Jesus had healed on the Sabbath, the synagogue leader said to the people, “There are six days for work. So come and be healed on those days, not on the Sabbath.”

15 The Lord answered him, “You hypocrites! Doesn’t each of you on the Sabbath untie your ox or donkey from the stall and lead it out to give it water? 16 Then should not this woman, a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan has kept bound for eighteen long years, be set free on the Sabbath day from what bound her?”

17 When he said this, all his opponents were humiliated, but the people were delighted with all the wonderful things he was doing.

In the content of today's sermon, Nuke 13:10-17, there's an event that happened when Jesus preached in the synagogue on the Sabbath. The synagogue is a building where Jews gather and perform religious ceremonies. In our way, it's a church. It seems that Jesus was able to enter the synagogue at that time. Access to the synagogues has been blocked since the relationship with the synagogues deteriorated. One of the reasons for the relationship's deterioration is the incident in the content today. 

There was a woman who had been haunted for eighteen years and could not straighten her back. She must have been sitting in one corner of the synagogue, not in front or in the middle. It's hard to be welcomed because she was a woman and disabled person. This woman came into the eyes of Jesus who was preaching. He could have gone by, but Jesus had to call her up. She might move to the front seat. We can imagine the situation. How ashamed she must have been. 

Being disabled at the time was a sinner. She hasn't straightened her back for 18 years. No one knows what caused this disorder. We don't know if that's actually a problem with her waist disk or if it's a psychological problem. We don't know what's happening in the human body and what's causing it now, in the high-tech medical age. These days, I'm reading a book called 'The Betray of Health' by Barbara Ernlich. Excess health care  and successful aging are key topics. In the category "Health-addicted People," 70-80 percent of all thyroid cancer surgeries European and North American women received were found to have been unnecessary. In particular, there are examples of Korea. In Korea, it goes up to 90%. Too much concern about cancer can actually reduce the quality of life. The "cellular rebellion" also explains that the cells in our bodies do not necessarily follow the immune system, but move freely as if they are willing. The human body is so mysterious that it cannot be controlled by science. Jesus said to this woman, "you are set free from your infirmity," and he laid his hands on her. Then this woman has straightened her back and praised God.

The text does not focus on the fact that this woman's disability has been healed. These were common events in ancient society. It's similar to the story of a spinal patient today who is undergoing surgery or who has been completely cured in a non-surgical way. The main point of the content is that the views of this event clash with each other. The synagogue leader's reaction to the scene is described in detail in verse 14. I'll read it myself.

Indignant because Jesus had healed on the Sabbath, the synagogue leader said to the people, “There are six days for work. So come and be healed on those days, not on the Sabbath.”

It is said that the synagogue ruler was angry at Jesus' behavior and told the people That's because something unacceptable happened at the church service where he was in charge. Interestingly, however, he could not directly question Jesus, but instead advised the lay believers. He must have thought it was rude to give direct advice to the guest preacher. Otherwise, he may raise a question with Jesus in an indirect way, in which a pastor in charge teaches believers the rules of religious life.

The problem raised by the synagogue ruler is the regulation on sabbaticals. He said it was better not to be healed on the Sabbath because there are other days. It's not too strange what he says. It's not wrong for a woman with a disability of eighteen years to endure a day and receive treatment the day after the Sabbath. This woman's life is not at the moment. The ruler's argument is reasonable. If these things are repeated in the future, the sabbatical concept will become increasingly powerless. If Jesus chooses the right day after the Sabbath and treats it, it is good to observe the Sabbath, and it is good for this woman to be treated. It's not easy to argue against such claims. If I were there, I would agree with his argument.

In order to understand the president's argument, we must first understand the Jewish sabbatical concept more accurately. For Jews, Sabbaths are absolute norms that cannot be replaced by anything. Today's Sabbath, which falls on Saturday, is a day of rest. For them, there are two historical origins of the Sabbath. One is the creation event that was recorded in the Genesis. God created the world for six days and rested on the seventh day, so people should rest. The other is the escape from Egypt in the Exodus. Jews have to observe the Sabbath in memory of God's liberation of them. The Jews persisted in keeping the Sabbath tradition. There were also many enforcement regulations regarding this. There is also a regulation on how to deal with cows or sheep when they give birth on a Sabbath or when they are in danger. All human labor had to stop unless it was a matter of life. Today's 52-hour workweek debate is also linked to the sabbatical concept.

Jesus directed the Jews, who were represented by the synagogue, and criticized them as "the hypocrites" These criticisms are often found in other gospels. Matthew 23:13 is like this. " “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to." This expression repeats. They were the ones who strain out a gnat but swallow a camel (Matt. 23:24). It is hypocritical of you to ignore the word of God under the pretext of the law.

Jesus then explains why the synagogue ruler's arguments are hypocritical. On Sabbaths, they drag cows and donkeys out for a drink. This is actually labor. You shouldn't do this if you have to strictly observe the Sabbath. They did not make a fire, so they did not eat warm food on the Sabbath. There was an exception that allowed the animals to drink water even though it seemed to be strictly observed on the Sabbath. You can endure it without eating warm food, but if you don't take it out to water your livestock, you could be severely disadvantaged by property. I'm not saying that watering livestock is wrong. That's a good thing. Criticism against the use of Sabbath rules to heal disabled people who are more precious than livestock. Let's read verse 16.

 Then should not this woman, a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan has kept bound for eighteen long years, be set free on the Sabbath day from what bound her?

The two sides are in conflict right now. On one side, it's the synagogur ruler's. He insists on not treating the disease on the Sabbath because there are six other days. The other side is the position of Jesus Christ. Jesus says sabbatical rules apply differently depending on the situation, so even on sabbaticals, it is right to treat women's illnesses. One is to abide by the law as possible, and the other is that human salvation takes precedence over the law. Which side do you support? It's ambiguous, because we're Christians, of course we support Jesus' position, but in reality, it's hard to live with him in the world. For example, street vendors in big cities are illegal. The ward chief should stop street vendors. That's the law. If the street vendors feel sorry for them and leave them alone, there will be a lot of confusion. The ward chief will be down in the next local elections.

Today's story doesn't require us to live the same way as Jesus. From the content, we can learn about religious traditions and Jesus' unique ideas about human life. This is a fundamental question of the nature of the Sabbath. At the heart of the Sabbath regulation is literally a sabbatical.  A Sabbatical is a rest. People who need rest are people who have no rest in their daily lives. At that time, landlords and nobles did not need to rest because they did not usually work. Ordinary farmers, small business people, especially peasants and servants, could not rest all year. Only by force of the Sabbath rules could they take a day off a week. Do not work the same on Sabbaths as landlords or peasants, free men or servants. Even the beast had to rest. It's a world of total equality, even one day a week. Sabbath traditions are also important at sociological and scientific levels.

On the Sabbath, the Jews gathered in the synagogue. It's kind of like we're gathering at church on a weekly basis. In the synagogue they sang poems, prayed, read the Bible and listened to sermons. They shouted out loud that God was the Creator and that God had freed them from Egypt. What does this mean? Sabbath is the day to confirm who I or we are. The other day, you have to cling to the repressive structure that's made. You have to go to a job that you don't want to go to, and you have to make money. In a world of ordinary days, we feel the discrimination between the boss and the staff. We can't avoid competition. I can't confirm who I am from there. They check themselves with teachers, students, doctors, patients, workers, presidents, husbands and wives. That's not the real self. Before the Sabbath, we are all God's creatures. That's the real self. Isn't that right?

Some people find it uncomfortable to say that they are God's creatures. The more important they are to their identity and free will, the more so. Are modern intelligent people actually living on their own? They consider a life of self-reliance as a life of buying a house and a car and traveling with their own money. I'm sorry, but no one has an independent life. The content of our own self-determination is already influenced by other forces.

The political situation is noisy these days over the nominee for justice minister. The main point seems to be that his daughter made an unfair advantage in the admission process to a general university and a medical school. There is a lot of criticism about what we call unfair specifications. I think the mother of the student might be deeply involved. There is a saying that to get into a good university, you need an education-minded mother, an indifferent father and a rich grandparents.

I'm not going to tell you the wrong thing about things that I don't know very well and that I don't have a more specific fact What I want to say is that the judgment of building up a child's specifications within legal boundaries, or in ambiguous situations, seems to be self-reliant, but it's actually the most non-subjective. Is this the only time you've? Modern people who say they live on their own are slaves to ideology who value capital at its highest value.

The Bible says to believe in God, not to tell you to live on your own. Believing in God means accepting that you are God's creatures. More precisely, we accept the fact that we are creatures made in the image of God

God's creation must be freed from the wrong repressive structure of the world. I told you earlier that the sabbatical concept originated from two events in the Old Testament. It's creation and liberation from Egypt. Two things are deeply involved. The word "the creation of God" means "liberated beings." We still have to go the road of liberation.

So today Jesus said to a woman who hasn't straightened her back for eighteen years, "Woman, you are set free from your infinity." This woman has recovered her health. This declaration fits exactly in with the nature of the Sabbath.

Now the final question is, couldn't we delay her treatment by one day? She's been in trouble for eighteen years, and there's nothing else she can't stand. That makes sense. Why didn't Jesus wait for the day? And I think that's where the most fundamental nature of religion lies. It's 'pity' for humans to be freed soon. Jesus has already seen a woman crouched in one corner while preaching in the synagogue. She also visited the synagogue today on the Sabbath. Whether there was self-consciousness about the fact that she was God's daughter, or desperate to die, or expecting something from the news of Jesus preaching, the text has nothing to say. It is clear that she is desperate now. Other people may have passed because they were familiar with the scenery, but Jesus felt a very special compassion for her. Jesus couldn't afford to wait another day. Those who are deep in their hearts are impatient. A cynic who is thorough in calculation cannot understand the mind of Jesus' name.

Compassion is God's attribute. Bible reporters often say that God feels sorry for us. Prayer to pity us is the most fundamental prayer in Christianity's 2,000-year history. Kirie Elison! Pity isn't just the sadness that comes after watching a sad movie or reading a novel. It's a bigger and deeper spirituality. It's a spiritual phenomenon that comes from seeing the world and people as God's heart. I feel sorry for everyone. The poor and the proud are the poor. When we see anti-social and shameless people, we get angry, but when we think about it, we feel sorry. Because this is an aberration that happens because no matter how much you fill, your soul can't fill. In this regard, neither Abe nor Trump nor Kim Jong-un are pitiful. I don't mean that everyone is pitiful and that if you do evil, you must forgive What is to be held accountable is to be held accountable. But underneath it lies compassion. That's what parents feel about having an iron-fisted son or daughter.

The world we live in today is no different from the synagogue, where a 18-year-old disabled person is squatting in one corner. The division of North and South is like a disabled person. Youths and their families, who hang themselves on the CSAT scores, are also 18-year-old disabled. Maybe I or you are the one who's. There were several people in the synagogue. The general public gave only a normal sabbatical that day. The synagogue ruler insisted that the Sabbath rules be followed. Jesus did what was due on the Sabbath. It was the release of a woman who had been tied to Satan for eighteen years. One day you would have met him, and if not yet, you would meet him someday. According to the last section of the text today, those who opposed Jesus were ashamed, and everyone else was pleased with his glorious work. Have you ever been shy in front of Jesus' words? Have you ever truly rejoiced at the glorious work of Jesus? Or have you been driven out of the world and kept busy?

Five Loaves and two fishes

Five loaves and two fish (1)

"How many loaves do you have?" he asked. "Go and see." When they found out, they said, "Five loaves--and two fish." (Mark 6:38)

See carefully the dialogue between Jesus and his disciples. The disciples said, “Send the people away so they can go to the surrounding countryside and villages and buy themselves something to eat."

Jesus said, "You give them something to eat."

The disciples again said, “Do you mean that we have to buy two hundred denari’ valued loaves?” Jesus said, “Go and see. How many loaves do you have?"

The disciples said, “Five loaves and two fish.”

Jesus commanded the disciples to find out how many loaves they had. After knowing this they could device a measure. The word of Jesus has a significant spiritual meaning. We always think we have nothing. We usually worry and are anxious about anything beforehand.

Universal gift in one way or the other from God is an important theological aspect in Christianity. Everybody receives their own gifts from God. God does not heap up all the gifts on a person but gives it to everybody universally. Most people miss this important fact and easily conclude that they do not receive excellent gift as others do in their lives. People view that certain gifts are exclusively excellent. However, as a matter of fact, gifts are not graded in that way. Every gift is precious because God is the source of all the gifts.

Jesus tells us to find out how many loaves we have. Those who do not find out this may lose what they have at hand. Where do we find out the gifts? It is the responsibility of each individual. Certain gifts that are to be used in accomplishing the kingdom of God in the world are hidden somewhere in our life like the treasures buried in the field. If we want to find it out, we must first forget about the fantasy of two hundred denari. In all simplicity, first we must try to find out what you have in the field of your spiritual land.

Five loaves and two fishes (2)

"How many loaves do you have?" he asked. "Go and see." When they found out, they said, "Five loaves --and two fish." (Mark 6:38)

When Jesus told the disciples to find out how many loaves they had, they found out and told Jesus that they had “Five loaves and two fish.” The crust of the totality of Jesus public ministry would be the “Five loaves and two fish”. This event is significant because this incident not only solved the problem of starving masses but it also revealed Jesus’ supernatural power.

The quantity of the “Five loaves and two fish” is not much for eating. It might have been brought only by some. Other gospel says a child brought it. However, the disciples found the “Five loaves and two fish” from someone. This was to say that they found out.

What was the disciples’ feeling when they talked about “Five loaves and two fish” to Jesus? They were the people who calculated the requiring food quantity would cost 200 denari. According to the disciples five loaves and two fish would be too insignificant to solve the fundamental problem of anything. If they convert the value of the present available food in term of money, it would not be even a half denarius. This small quantity of food cannot practically solve the problem of the masses. The disciples’ “Five loaves and two fish” signifies their miserable state of despair.

Would not our situation be similar to this state of helplessness? What we need is two hundred denari but what we have in our hand is just a half of a denarius or just one tenth of denarius. Look at the situation we live in. There are many starving masses in the world. Afghanistan and Pakistan consider starving people in rural areas; Haiti earthquake and Chile earthquake demand two hundred denari. However, we individuals do not have any ability to solve any of these problems. What do we do with “Five loaves and two fish”?

Five loaves and two fish (3)

“How many loaves do you have?” he asked. “Go and see.” When they found out, they said, “Five loaves --and two fish.”(Mark 6:38)

The disciples replied that they had only “Five loaves and two fish” with a visible facial expression that the quantity they had was worthless. This is our human’s epistemological limitation. What can we do with only “Five loaves and two fish”? We have to change this kind of mentality. We have but “Five loaves and two fish”. The difference between two sentences is the addition of the word “only” and “but”. However, there is a big gap of difference in the expressions.

A saying goes, “a wise man remains wise even while he is drinking but a fool regrets for having got drunk with wine.” They face the same situation but think differently. How wonderful is this? There exists something now. Though it would be relatively inferior to other thing, it is a marvelous incident if we see from the point of its unique existence. Whether it is a tiny thing or big thing, both exist at the same time having the same value of existence. The outward appearance of the existence of anything in the world cannot give us the purpose and meaning of its existence.

If I am an artist I would like to draw the picture of the “Five loaves and two fish” that the disciples had brought to Jesus. Though it is a small quantity it clearly shows the concrete presence and availability at that point of time. It shines with the light of life. The things lying on my table shows their existence and thus they shine. DVD of Poumai gospel album, mobile phone, hymn book, the Bible, a wooden pencil case, tissue paper, computer and etc, all these things shine in their own unique way.

Above all in the field, there was Jesus who is the source of all things that come into existence. Now with the confirmation and credibility of its existence being exhibited in their bodily form, even the tiny thing of the world has deeper meaning of its existence than just it appears to be.

Five loaves and two fish (4)

“How many loaves do you have?” he asked. “Go and see.” When they found out, they said, “Five loaves--and two fish.” (Mark 6:38)

In the preceding meditation it is mentioned that the five loaves and two fish newly shine with Jesus. It is the right moment to change things into holiness. Can the things in the world really give off holy light? The things in this monotonous world generally look insignificant in our eyes. If something gives off holy light, it should be considered as something different and unique but these things appear quite normal.

We do not normally catch the holy light produced by the things in the world because we do not have such holy eyes to see. Our eyes always fall on to mannerism. We have the static natural perception that mountains should always there standing tall and river should always flow and a Neem tree should remain green all the time. We cannot see the other dimension of these visible things because our eyes are so accustomed to the set up of this world.

The other dimension is the cosmological depth in which all the things in the world are well connected with each other. There is a fairy tale entitled, “Doggy poop” written by Mr. Jungsang Kown who had expired recently. Doggy poop is also a part of this universe. If there is no such doggy poop, then there is no universe either. Doggy poop becomes a food material for some insects and then again returns to the soil. It communicates with the universe in a unique way. The existence of doggy poop was made possible in this universe which accepts it. Now it is evident that doggy poop and this universe are part and parcel of the same body.

Here are five loaves and two fish in the hands of the disciple. It was a tiny thing for the disciple but it is also a part of the creator God. If it belongs to the creator God, it eventually belongs to a cosmic realm. Yes. The eyes that see the things of the creationism are the same holy eyes that see things see things in a different way. The five loaves and two fish look shinny in holiness and they are true as they are in the eyes of the beholders.

Five loaves and two fish (5)

“How many loaves do you have?” he asked. “Go and see.” When they found out, they said, “Five loaves--and two fish.”(Mark 6:38)

When Jesus enquired how many loaves they had, the disciples checked with the people gathered there and found five loaves and two fish. Jesus talked only about bread but the disciples tried to find out fish too. The place where people were gathering was near Galilean lake and they might some dried fish scattered around them. When we think deeply, we learn that the Earth is really a mysterious planet. It produces abundant food materials for us to eat and many other things for our livelihood.

We eat corn, potato and bread. According to a farmer who collects it from a field, a corn produces a stalk and a stalk has a pair of ear corn. An ear corn has around three or four hundred corns. In this case, a corn multiplies seven hundred times. A potato also multiplies at least a hundred times. Fish also has the mighty power of reproduction. Fish like yellow corvine, mackerel and hairtail lay eggs, thousands and thousands at a time. It is really a marvelous power of production.

On earth there are frequent incidents like the miracle of “Five loaves and two fish”. Though the same incidents of supernatural phenomena shown in the gospel do not exactly happen, there exists the natural power of the earth which shows its strength of productivity. In this connection, there is no distinction between naturalness and super-naturalness.

Though the Earth has such a marvelous power of productivity, why are many people in the world still starving? Let us hand over such socio-scientific analysis into the hand of a specialist. However, to say it in the theological and biblical point of view, rampant miseries in the world continue to linger because very often we behave like the landlord or the Creator ignoring the ownership and authority of the Creator God.

Five loaves and two fish (6)

“How many loaves do you have?” he asked. “Go and see.” When they found out, they said, “Five loaves--and two fish.”(Mark 6:38)

It looks strange that they had only five loaves and two fish when this historic incident happened in that particular place where a crowd of five thousand people gathered. In the ancient times, there was no fast food shop or hawkers. So people used to take with them food and drink wherever they go. It sounds reasonable that some people could have forgotten to carry their food but it would be highly incredible if we are given to understand that there were only five loaves and two fish with a person in the mammoth gathering. There could be a hidden fact that the author of the Bible did not wish to describe the reality. Such facts will be dealt with at length in the following meditations; and as of now I would like to point out the situation itself.

There are a great number of people but only a few did the needful work in the very hour of great need. This picture of laudable work done by a few could also be applied to the movement of the kingdom of God. Five thousand people gathered there. However, none of them did have the far-sighted understanding of the impending grave need of the huge crowd. History flows in this way.

There might be some people who did not take out their food initially out of their stinginess, but mostly they did not know what exactly ‘Five loaves and two fish’ was all about. What does the “Five loaves and two fish” mean to us? What is the insignificant thing in us that could do some incredible and laudable thing for us? People may not be able to do this. Out of what we have, there is always a possibility to make it the “Five loaves and two fish”. Once it is revealed its reality at the proper place and time it could produce marvelous power.

Is it not the very Christian faith, the discerning power to bring out five loaves and two fish at the proper place and time? I hope our entire life would replete with incidents of such five loaves and two fish. I pray I may see it.

Five loaves and two fish (7)

“How many loaves do you have?” he asked. “Go and see.” When they found out, they said, “Five loaves--and two fish.”(Mark 6:38)

Now just imagine how the five loaves and two fish might have passed through a number of hands before it was finally handed over to Jesus by a disciple. The owner of the five loaves and two fish might have handed over it to a disciple standing closest to him. The previous night that person might have told his wife, “I would like to go to Jesus, and could you prepare something for it?” It is uncertain whether his wife willingly or reluctantly prepared the “Five loaves and two fish” for her husband.

We can weave this story further. Through the power of imagination we can add some more creative inputs to this story. The wife who was requested by her husband to prepare food might be in agony in many ways. How could she prepare food under the situation of barely managing to stay alive with the aid of herb-roots and tree-barks? However, she could not decline the insistence of her husband who was to take a long-awaited precious trip. She might have borrowed five loaves and two fish from a neighbor who were close to her family. She might have told her husband, “Honey, I don’t know who Jesus is but go and meet him if you really want to meet him. Here I’ve prepared five loaves and two fish.”

Here five loaves and two fish which were placed before Jesus through the disciples’ hands had come after passing through many hands. It was the hands of his wife and a neighboring woman. Going still a little further it might have reached a baker and a fishmonger. Likewise the fabric of living is connected like net. Nobody or nothing exists independently. Any visible thing or any incident that is revealed in our sight contains in it someone or some story that we never be able to follow. If we do not consider these things, the essence of our living would be nothing but a superficial experience.

Five loaves and two fish (8)

“How many loaves do you have?” he asked. “Go and see.” When they found out, they said, “Five loaves--and two fish.”(Mark 6:38)

Passing through a number of hands invisibly, the five loaves and two fish finally came to Jesus who was teaching the kingdom of God in the desert. In the process of this incident, not only the hands of different people involved but also much more importantly some fundamental elements did. It is true and generally acceptable.

Bread is made from wheat flour. Wheat flour is made by grinding wheat. Wheat grows in the wheat field. What has been the life giving force to the wheat plant till it reaches the stage where a kernel of wheat is fully developed to bear good fruit? The earth is the foundation of the entire life incidence. Wheat grows by taking its root in the ground which includes proper absorption of water and bacteria. It also needs air like nitrogen though it is a minor requirement. The lives play on the ground of the earth like an orchestra.

The same thing happens on the ground. Will the new sprouted wheat shoot first meet morning dew or fog or a butterfly or a bird as it comes out of the ground? A shoot begins to meet a totally new world by sprouting out of the ground. Imagine how it would be on the day of raptures. We may have such unprecedented experience when we are resurrected. A shoot receives the sun’s ray which is never known in the ground. The presence of the ray of the sun is indirectly felt in the ground but now the newly sprouted shoots of the wheat face it directly.

This interface between two natural bodies is like a couple who meet face to face after sharing their sweet heart love through letters. The process of photosynthesis and assimilation of carbon would make a shoot of the wheat feel a sense of dramatic transformation in the process of its growth. Going through different phases of changes in its life, a kernel of wheat finally bears abundant fruit. Such long and unseen process is hidden in five loaves and two fish. It is really a marvelous universal life incident truly taking place on the earth.

Five loaves and two fish (9)

"How many loaves do you have?" he asked. "Go and see." When they found out, they said, "Five loaves--and two fish." (Mark 6:38)

In the given topic, “Five loaves and two fish” we need to pay attention not only to the five loaves but also to the two fish. We do not know exactly whether it was. Were they some pieces of cooked salted fish or some fried ones or simply dried ones? However, it is very clear that those fish have swum in the Sea of Galilee sometime ago. Were they so unfortunate? They were fished by fishermen and now became a part of the “Five loaves and two fish”.

A fairy tale writer may write a beautiful story out of this incident by making the two fish as heroes. For our convenience sake, let us call this fish “Cyprinus carpio”; one the elder brother and the other younger sister. They were inquisitive brothers and sisters. Though their parents repeatedly cautioned them about the danger of net dropped down by man, they could not resist their curiosity to go to the center of the lake where many other friends also came out to play. Eventually they were caught in Peter’s net. They were then salted for a while and sold to someone and now are they are being served as lunch in the desert where Jesus was teaching the kingdom of God. There among the crowd was Peter who caught them.

Throughout my lifetime, this world remains a very strange and mysterious place to live in. Sometimes cause and effect in this world appear to have correlation with each other but sometimes they do contradict. This face of contradiction shows that the visible phenomenon is founded in depth that we cannot understand the reality of its nature of existence. How can we explain the complete story which was intricately woven in the two fish? Nobody can fathom the depth of existence and nature of its connectivity. Such expanse of knowledge would be the domain of God and God himself. Oh, what a little thing do we know now?

Five loaves and two fish (10)

Then Jesus directed them to have all the people sit down in groups on the green grass. So they sat down in groups of hundreds and fifties. (Mark 6:39,40)

After receiving the five loaves and two fish, Jesus directed the disciples to have all the people sit down in groups on the green grass. Someone should have proper seat for eating. Proper seat is necessity not only for the sake of comfort while eating but also for space adjustment with the crowd gathered in the particular region of the desert. Just imagine the scene. Thousands of people were sitting in groups on the green grass and probably Jesus was in the center of the crowd. Perhaps the glowing western sky of the evening set a beautiful background of the historic scene.

As we study further on, “Five loaves and two fish”, we find that it be related to the Eucharist. The Eucharist is placed in the center of Christian worship service. Then this “Five loaves and two fish” is a sort of worship in the desert. If we widen our theological imaginative power, the “Five loaves and two fish” is an introduction of a new worship service. Worship in the desert is the same with the worship in the temple. It is not sure whether the author agrees on this point but it will not be wrong even if we interpret it in this way. As God reveals, Bible can be interpreted on the same line of the author’s writing. However, it does not mean that all arbitrary and subjective interpretation will be possible.

The term “the people sit down in groups on the green grass” could signify the order of worship service. Yes. The Holy Spirit, the central focus of worship service is the spirit of freedom and order. Our worship service should maintain freedom and order at the same time. It does not mean the spirit of freedom rules over one part and the spirit of order on the other. Freedom and order are to be at work simultaneously. For example, hymnal and prayer have its own unique form and we experience the spiritual freedom in it. We have to retrospect the way we have conducted our worship service and see whether freedom and order functions in tandem with the way it should.

Five loaves and two fish (11)

Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all. (Mark 6:41)

Jesus took “Five loaves and two fish” and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks. The author keeps silent about the content of the thanksgiving. Was it similar to our normal way of thanks giving to God in prayer when we eat? Following the Jewish custom of prayer before meal, surely Jesus must have prayed, “Praise the Lord Jehovah, the King of the world!” As he continued, he must have prayed, “You made bread from the earth.”

There is no other more sincere prayer than the prayer made before a meal. The first act of a newly born baby is to breathe. A doctor normally beats buttocks of baby to give an impetus to take normal breath as it comes to the world. The baby has to leave the womb and its dependence on the mother in breathing so as to live in this world. After breathing, a baby instinctively sucks mother’s breast for a while. If there is no milk from his mom then a baby should beg for cow’s milk instead. As such, meal is highly essential for the sustenance of our life. Therefore food is also a holy aspect of God’s provision.

Think of the ape-men. They always suffer from the shortage of food. Except sleeping hour, most of their time is spent in preparing and searching for meal. This mode of life is similar with other wild animals. It is not long that we give up such style of livelihood. Nowadays we give a formal prayer before each meal. Mere formality of prayer could be the result of our shallow understanding about the depth of life and the world. To understand the world in depth is to experience the intimate relation with God, the creator. The intimate relationship with God’s heart is found in Jesus’ blessing.

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Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all.(Mark 6:41)

Jesus looked up to heaven holding “Five loaves and two fish”. Looking up to heaven is the same as looking up to God. The people of the ancient time thought that God dwells in heaven. In those days, when there were no scientific discoveries of the celestial world, they thought that heaven was a mysterious world. They thought God is in the mysterious space.

When I looked outside from my library, I found that half of my sight is the earth and the other half is the heaven. The earth consists of forest, field, a paddy field, village and mountains. Heaven keeps changing with the passage of time and with the change of the heavenly bodies. It is filled with cluster of clouds or indigo twilight or stars at night. We now roughly know the form of the heavens with the help of the information of space through physics, but the ancient world never knew anything about it. The ancient people did not have the access to heaven and know its information. Thunder, light, rain, meteor and cloud are the absolute celestial objects of mystery.

It would sound rather awkward if we have the notion that the ancient people are unenlightened. In support of this fact there are two reasons. First, the idea about heaven in the Bible concentrates not on heaven itself but more importantly on God. They were meeting God in their limitation of information that they knew. The other point is that in our knowledge about space physics is not much better than ancient people. Our knowledge is always relative. Our knowledge seems a little better than our descendants. We cannot make the difference of quantity of knowledge as a criterion of God’s cognizance. So we also have to live today with a thanks giving heart by looking up to heaven.

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Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all. (Mark 6:41)

The practical expression of ‘Looking up to heaven’ would mean to outwardly to set one’s mind on the place where God dwells but internally it also means to give one’s mind to an ultimate mystery of life. Five loaves and two fish are more than a mere food material. This implies the mystery of life. Many Christian would know the meaning of mystery of life very well as it often referred to but many cannot fully understand the real meaning it carries.

Now we can maintain our life by eating something. Deeply think about its reason. Why can we not maintain our life if we do not eat? Everybody knows its’ physiological reason. As chewed food passes to the stomach and to the small intestine and the large intestine, and it changes into a nutriment which is necessary for our bodies. No life on earth can exist or live without having foods. Even fungus is not excluded from such natural mechanism. The mode of foods intake defers from one living being to another but basically all living things including plants need foods in order to maintain their lives. Why should they depend on foods for their survival? Is this the right system of life on earth?

According to Jesus’ teaching, we will be like angels at the time of resurrection where there will be no concern for eating and drinking. This teaching talks life the mechanism which is totally different from the life mechanism on earth. We should not consider our present system of life as the only absolute one in life. When we are aware of this fact, we come to know the preciousness of our life today. We come to know how marvelous fact it is to maintain our life by eating something. Those who truly acknowledge the certainty of this fact would look up with a thankful heart before taking food. This would happen because even to eat something is a mysterious thing.

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Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all.(Mark 6:41)

Looking up to heaven, Jesus gave thanks to God. Given the “Five loaves and two fish”, God’s act, at our disposal, why can we not give thanks to God who blesses us with foods now and even in the future? To say, the provision of “Five loaves and two fish” as God’s act, would also mean that this is a part of universal incident. Yes. A kernel of rice that looks insignificant is also a universal incident in accordance with God’s will. Those who seriously feel it would certainly give thanks to God.

The weight of our universe in our present life is incessantly getting reduced. Men hardly think about the universe which is far beyond our real world where we have to struggle for our survival. The trend of such thought would be highly fallacious. The entire realities seen before us are basically of universal incident. The Earth itself is a part of the universe. It signifies that the entire things and happenings on the earth are from the universe. I say again, our entire lives including “Five loaves and two fish” are basically parts of universal incidence.

If you feel that such level of understanding is too deep to penetrate, then think about where “Five loaves and two fish” have come from. Obviously it is the earth. Whether it was a thing of beauty or ugliness, everything will turn to the same soil when they perish. The concept of beauty or ugliness is not found in the natural matter such as the soil of the earth which is a part of the universe.

If the “Five loaves and two fish” and we the people who have taken it are a part of universal happening, then holding the “Five loaves and two fish” we ought to look up and give thanks to God, the creator of all things.

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Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all.(Mark 6:41)

Taking the “Five loaves and two fish” Jesus looked up to heaven and gave thanks. The heaven is God’s dwelling place and this is also the same place where the ultimate life is in store for us. “Five loaves and two fish” is the most familiar and commonly known topic in our daily life.  However, when a man looks up to heaven holding the “Five loaves and two fish” its activity is closely connected to the ultimate life. The communication between a common daily life and the ultimate life is the very Christian Spirituality.

Our daily lives today have become a mere instrument to eat and live. Our 24 hours of thought and activities on earth are normally devoted only to action on how to earn money and lift up our own position. It is not easy to escape from such real world. And it is not proper to avoid the stark reality of this world. It is very clear that whatever we do in this world our action should be reflected to the ultimate life as long as we live as a Christians.

There would be many people who would like to live like that but could not follow it practically. I am also one of such people. It is not easy for me to let the ultimate life be a center of my life, the life in which the Holy Spirit leads. That may show my poor spirituality.

We have to live spiritually as far as possible, irrespective of our capability. It means we have to find out the way to communicate between our “Five loaves and two fish” and heaven where the ultimate life is hidden. What is it specifically?

It is our concentration on God as we pray ceaselessly. All other ways are temporary. When we concentrate on God, we heartily and reverently look up to heaven and pray with “Five loaves and two fish”.

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Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all.(Mark 6:41)

The incident of “Five loaves and two fish” gives a completely new meaning through Jesus who looked up to heaven and gave thanks. Though “Five loaves and two fish” are the mere product of the earth, it is closely interlinked with heaven. From an object bound to the earth it turns out to be an object that has invisibly connected with the limitless heavens. It has all the characteristics of solidity, unique identity of limitation and limitlessness. This visible thing has now gained the invisible power.

Some of you may consider that the above statements are too abstract to understand. They may say so. A lot of the words of expression from Christian faith are abstract and ideal. Abstract is the opposite of concrete concept and ideal is the opposite of reality. We who are familiar with concreteness and actuality as reality usually feel abstract and ideal as unreal.

In fact, there was time when Christianity excessively inclined to abstractness and idealism. It was a sort of faith that they did not care how the world turn out if they could go to heaven by believing Jesus. Because of this dogmatic faith, Christianity was called as the opium. Some scholars criticize that this happened because the fore-fathers accepted Plato’s idealism.

Plato’s concept ignores the practical principle of life in this world but dwells on the world view penetrating into the deeper level of incident of the world. It believes that this world is moving around and not regulated by a certain mechanical principle. The Fathers accepted Plato’s concept because this concept is correspondent with God’s concept of Christianity. I say it again; this idea is not the idea ignoring this world but hermeneutics to see the deeper dimension of the world. It is the hermeneutics that “Five loaves and two fish” is connected with heaven from where the “Five loaves and two fish” came down.

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Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all. (Mark 6:41)

In order to have better understanding about the connectivity between the “Five loaves and two fish” and heaven and to penetrate the depth of this incidents, we need to give ear to Heidegger’s explanation about this thing. I quote it as the following:

“An article of a thing can be a cup, a chair, a trail, a tray etc. According to different nature of existence, a tree, a pond, a brook and a mountain exists as a thing. A thing exists every time and takes reification according to their own way and becomes a heron, a roe, a horse and a bull. Thing stays every time and nullifies itself according to their own way and becomes a mirror, a buckle, a book, a painting, a crown and a cross.” (Das Ding 181)

The bread was in the form of wheat just before it came to Jesus. Prior to this particular incidence, the wheat (present bread) was hidden invisibly as a kernel of wheat covered with husk of the wheat. One day it revealed itself to the world in a concrete form exposing to nature of the earth, heaven, rain and carbon. As we eat of this bread, it immediately enters into the stomach and some part of it changes to nutrition to be absorbed by the body to preserve man’s life and other part of it will be changed to waste to be excreted. These may be again take reification in a certain manner.

Heidegger stipulated that thing is an assemblage of the quadrate namely, earth, heaven, sacred things and thing to be extinct. For him this world is a mirror play that is displayed by overlapping of quadrate. It is reflected to a mirror this way or that way. Do not misunderstand. It does not mean that God’s creation in this world is meaningless. Rather it is just the opposite. “Five loaves and two fish” is a unique event of holy creation which is accomplished by a harmonious combination of the quadrate-earth, heaven, sacred things and thing to be extinct.

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Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all. (Mark 6:41)

From Heidegger’s explanation about things on earth I could taste the presence of spirituality among the creation. I learned much spiritual insight from Heidegger. The most amazing thing was the power to think of the existence, thought, language and world. At this point, theologians, natural scientists and the philosophers are good teachers for me. Through them I come to know more precisely how God created world. They are good teachers who precisely explain how God created world.

As I have mentioned in the foregoing meditation, thing is a combination of quadrate according to Heidegger. In Shakespeare’s point of view, thing is a playground of the elves. The entire things found on the earth possess life in the eyes of philosophers and writers. Thing has rather holy power in a holy place. Bread is a combination of earth, heaven, sacred thing and thing to be disposed off. Bread is sublimated to a spiritual reality.

Here the word, ‘spirit’ is a term to indicate the deepest world of existence. It has not identified yet what it is. The Bible also merely gives an idea, not mentioning it explicitly. Christians should understand such context exactly. The biblical terms such as spirit, the Holy Spirit, God, creation, the end etc do not point out a certain fixed reality but a certain ultimate reality which cannot be categorized by our cognition.

The meaning that bread is sublimated into a spiritual reality is to approach thing at the deepest place of existence. Bread is sacred. Bread is God’s flesh. We accept bread as Jesus’ flesh in Eucharist. To make Eucharist as a part of our life is a great a source of salvation.

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Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all.(Mark 6:41)

I would like to add some more points on Eucharist that I mentioned in the foregoing meditation. Historically speaking Eucharist was originated from the last supper in which Jesus took the Passover supper with his disciples just before his crucifixion.

Jesus commanded his disciples saying, “"This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me." (Luke 22:19) Even Paul also received the same command. (1Co 11:25)

Passover supper, the foundation of Eucharist, is the supper that every family of the Israelites, living as a minor nation in Egypt, ate the night before they left Egypt. They killed sheep and sprinkled its blood on the doorframes. It was a symbol to the angel of death to pass over. Otherwise the angel would kill the eldest of the house like he did to the entire Egyptian family and the animals of the livestock of every family in Egypt. They had to eat the unleavened bread and bitter vegetable with their cloak tucked into their belt. (Exo. 12:11)

At the very day, Israelites experienced the absolute mayhem of life and death. There was wailing from every house of Egyptian neighbors with whom they had lived together for a long time. They had to leave Goshen, a place where they used to live in. No one knew what was in store for them as they marched forward to occupy the land of the Canaanites. Relieving from the grip of Pharaoh’s hands in Egypt was a joyful experience of freedom but it was also a great adventure for them. They shared the supper together in such risky moment.

What does it mean by having a supper in the given unfavorable situation and the question of life and death? No wonder, man should continue to eat even if one’s house is in the state of mourning. Even a criminal under sentence of death longs for a delicious meal and a puff of good cigarette. The word “Passover” means the act of passing over of the angel of death on the house the doorframe of which was sprinkled with the blood of the lamb thereby sparing life to the house of the Israelites. Then they might eat bread and drink wine.

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Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all.(Mark 6:41)

“To eat and drink” is the core activity of the Passover supper, which was Jesus’ last supper and which we occasionally observe. The administration of the Last Supper entails a unique activity performed in the most religious and urgent manner in the holiest time and occasion.

If we deeply think about the activity of eating and drinking, it is a mysterious phenomenon. Bread and wine enters our stomach through our mouth and gullet. A stomach naturally does the secretion of gastric juice and decomposes food through an action of compression and relaxation. The decomposed food then gets assimilated to human body through the small intestine and the large intestine. The last step is the excretion. The digestive system of man is a little different from that of the animals but the general mechanism of food intake and excretion of waste for the sustenance of life is the same.

We should not miss the point that there is universal requirement of eating and drinking of something. It is something that occurs universally to all living beings. Here the meaning of universality has the direct implication with God’s nature of holiness. The things that we eat and drink are also a medium of connectivity between the Holy God and us.

The religious symbol of sharing of the Eucharist is the conspicuous expression of our connectivity with the Lord Jesus Christ. We the Christians experience the oneness of the body of Christ by sharing small pieces of bread and wine which represent blood and flesh of Jesus. Rather than prayer and praise or hearing the word of God, participation in the Eucharist gives deeper sense of spirituality. Those who have participated in it should treat our daily bread holy like the body of Christ. We have to continually maintain the practice of having a meal in a holy manner.

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Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all.(Mark 6:41)

What does it mean by eating a meal in holiness? It does not mean to maintain regular prayer before eating nor to categorize some food items as eatables and none eatables as followed by the Israel people in the Old Testament. Some Christians strictly insist on keeping wine and cigarette out of their religious life. They may be pursuing holy life in their own way.

Early Christianity called the believers as ‘saints’ who are a group of holy people. The word ‘holy’ is ‘hagios’(ἅγιος) in Greek, meaning to keep something different from other things. As Christians are distinct from worldly people, there might be some necessity of keeping some food items under categorization as sacred and unsacred. However, according to Jesus’ teaching, many unsacred things come out from inside a man though no unsacred enters into his body through mouth.

Being Christian does not imply that they lead a holy life in all their way of life. It also does not imply that they maintain morality more carefully than any others do.  Those who are sincere and exert themselves to maintain moral integrity could do so regardless of their belief in Jesus. The sacred life of Christians comes rather from outside than inside when the righteousness of Jesus Christ shines. Our religious existence is judged only by Jesus Christ.

At this juncture, the question of eating a meal in holiness should also be the outcome of our relationship with Jesus Christ alone. How can we be connected with Jesus in eating?

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Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all.(Mark 6:41)

According to John’s gospel, Jesus is the meal of life. Jesus is quoted as saying, “I am the bread of life. Hew who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.” (John 6:35) However, it does not guarantee that we will not be hungry and thirsty despite our belief in Jesus. There are many extremely poor people even among Christians.

The key point here is what life signifies when we say Jesus is the meal of life. Early Christians were hungry and lonely in this world like us today. Such problems are not solved immediately though we believe in Jesus. They experience entirely different level of life from Jesus. The core of this difference is the resurrection. Jesus who has risen from the dead was an eternal and real foundation of life.

Life given by God in this world has no eternity in itself. Man has to die sooner or later though he continues to eat. Man cannot get real satisfaction anywhere in this temporal world. Of course, he may be able to attain peace and satisfaction to some certain extent as he acquires knowledge and gets sufficient income to sustain his livelihood, but this satisfaction has its limitation and is not eternal. The temporal short-lived comfort and satisfaction is comparable to the enjoyment of a chronic drug addict whose life style cannot be called the right stream of life.

Now we cannot explain in detail exactly what the eternal life was that the early Christians experienced after their conviction of Jesus’ resurrection. Since the reality of our act on earth will be revealed at the end of the world, we have to patiently wait that particular day. Hence, Christian faith involves patient waiting. Our present life is not an end in itself but a gift from God to prepare for the next life.

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Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all.(Mark 6:41)

If Jesus’ resurrection is our real meal as mentioned in the foregoing meditation, then some would say that our daily meal does not have any spiritual connection. ? No. It is not. The meal we take every day is also an integral part of God’s grace and the meal of life has the same meaning. The only difficulty is that we do not know how to merge the relationship between a real meal and resurrection more precisely. It is our cognitive limitation that we have to bear and also our religious homework to be solved.

The best alternative way we can choose now is to accept a meal as a reality of resurrected life. It can be a practice to eat a meal in holiness. We might experience mystery and holiness of life from a bowl of meal. It is, that is to say, identification itself with a meal. We experience a mystery that a meal becomes me and I become a meal. Is it really possible? Generally we think a meal as an instrument to maintain life and it is not easy to experience such personal identification with it. However, if we open our mind, it can be possible.

A few days ago I had a chance to eat a lunch at my office. When I opened my lunch box there were four side dishes, fried anchovy, cubed radish Kimchi, scrambled eggs and boiled vegetable. First I took rice and chewed then it soon taste sweet. I again took a fried anchovy and chewed it well. At that moment, I felt rice and anchovy and I became one. It was a ruptured experience. Is it not an experience to eat a holy meal?

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Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all.(Mark 6:41)

After breaking the loaves Jesus gave them to the disciples to be distributed to the crowd gathered there. He also divided the two fish among them all. Here are the five loaves. The account of the five loaves and two fish does not explain in detail to show whether Jesus gave the loaves and fish without dividing into halves or three parts. What is more, we do not know whether the disciples distributed the bread and fish to the crowd without dividing them into small pieces. The pieces of bread might not be very big ones. According to the tradition of John’s gospel, ‘Five loaves and two fish’ were brought by a child. Why John’s gospel did particularly mentioned about a child that the synoptic never mentions about? It signifies the fact that “Five loaves and two fish” might not be a big food material, as they are prepared for a meal or two of a child. Though the child brought it to the disciples instructed by his father, “Five loaves and two fish” is nothing but a meal of a family. The size of bread might not be bigger than a big dumpling. It is not easy to divide in a small piece for serving the public.

The author of the Bible does not report a certain historical incident in a demonstrative manner. It reports some incredible incidents that had happened to Jesus through memory, tradition and also some theological interpretation. Report and interpretation are the two pillars of the Bible. The Bible is a report one side and interpretation on the other. Report has more factual information while interpretation provides information on events. Despite these apparent differences, report and interpretation serve the same purpose. These are complementary to each other. At this point, the story of “Five loaves and two fish” also is a fact on the one hand and an event on the other.

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Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all. (Mark 6:41)

I mentioned in the preceding meditation that we should not miss two levels of report and interpretation. As we see in this point of view, the expression of breaking the bread and giving it to his disciples is the interpretation of the Bible author in keeping with the conduct of Holy Communion service. As time goes by, the religious tradition in which the “Five loaves and two fish” are involved with is handed down through many people of the world.  “While they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying, "Take it; this is my body."(Mark 14:22) It indicates that the “Five loaves and two fish” and Eucharist raised fusion of horizons with the verbs “broke and gave”.

We often hear that Jesus gave himself up for us all but we do not feel it in our real lives. We think of it as a messianic role in which Jesus had to be crucified to take up my sin. It is not wrong but Christian faith cannot be explained in this manner. The word ‘Jesus broke his body’ is connected with a profound situation.

It is the incarnation. The Word became flesh. The invisible God became the visible one. Jesus is a visible God. He is God with the same body like ours. Here is the tension of Christian faith. Body has its’ limitations. But God is an unlimited being. It is a contradiction that infinite God has a finite body. Christianity began from this shrouded contradiction. To say in Barth’s way, ‘an impossible possibility’ has happened to Jesus. The confines of God and Men are found in the person of Jesus. At his point, Jesus is the only true God and true Man. He is the true “Five loaves and two fish”.

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Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all.(Mark 6:41)

John 1:14 says, “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.” Here ‘the word’ is a translation of the Greek ‘Logos’ which means language or reason. The philosophical term of the Greek has been accepted as a divine meaning.

In early Christianity era, Neo-Platonism of the Hellenistic philosophy blossomed and Plato took an active part in it. There was dualism in the center of this idea. They thought soul and flesh are of different entities. Soul is sacred while flesh is ugly. Soul is eternal but flesh is temporal. Soul of human is also eternal. So they thought the soul of human that is believed to be the essence of eternal life was not created. On the contrary, according to Christian faith the soul of human was created by God.

In addition, the early Christian fathers were deeply influenced by Greek philosophy, especially the philosophy of Plato and Aristotle and they did not give up the tradition of the Old Testaments. The most glaring example is the concept of incarnation. Augustine said that the Plato’s philosophy is most similar to Christian faith except incarnation. The belief on the theory of incarnation of the theological concept is the point of distinction between Plato’s philosophy and Christian faith.

The concept of incarnation that underscores the transformation of the body from the invisible and eternal God to a visible and temporal human body is not compatible with Plato’s philosophy. Not even a moment the body in Christian belief was neglected. The body requires “Five loaves and two fish”. Jesus was in humanly body which was broken and gave it to us. This is certainly a clear indication of the gift of salvation that Christians believe and talk about.

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Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all.(Mark 6:41)

I would like to meditate John 1:14 that I quoted yesterday. According to John, incarnated Jesus’ glory is the glory of the only son of God. What does it mean? Is it Jesus’ glory? Jesus lived on earth with the same limitations and condition like each of us. Most of the time the Bible depicts somebody with messianic and supernatural power according to the belief of the early Christian community but we have to consider the fact of the historical background. He ate, excreted, caught cold, felt lonely and was even joyful at times like us. Then what is the glory that was revealed to him?

John’s gospel described it as the glory, revealed to the only son of God. It doesn’t mean that God bears a son like man. It is a sort of religious metaphor to point out the one who has the same true nature with God, though he is not God himself. It means that the glory of the only son is exactly the glory of God himself. According to this logic, Jesus’ glory is no other than God’s glory.

At last, we came back to the term of ‘glory’ again. Glory is a theological term which is applicable to the creator only. We cannot describe it in detail. The creature cannot recognize the creator directly but glorify him alone. We can put in this way; the power of creation is, that is to say, glory. According to John verse 1:3, logos is the very power of creation.

We can say that Jesus’ ‘Five loaves and two fish’ points out the power of the creator. He broke himself and gave it to us as he broke ‘Five loaves and two fish’. Only the creator can give us life.

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Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all.(Mark 6:41)

Jesus ‘broke’ the loaves and gave them to his disciples to set before the people. It is a very simple action if we see it externally. Jesus probably held the loaves as he was getting ready to break them. If Jesus was not a left-handed he must have taken hold of it with his left hand and broke it with his right hand. Now the loaves handed over from Jesus’ hands to the hands of the disciples and they were again handed over to the hands of the people. It is a simple act of transfer of food from one hand to other hands one after another and it eventually solves the problem of hunger of the people and this further leads them to the stream of salvation.

The hand of people is a decisive instrument to actualize God’s salvation on earth. We arrange something to eat on the earth by the hand. The hand to cook something to eat in the kitchen is the power of salvation. We make a car with hand and do the farming with it. See the hand of a surgeon. Their hands save people’s life. Look at the hands of pianist and artists. And look at the hand of a poet who holds pen and writes a poem. Look at the hand of a pastor who prepares a sermon by tapping at the computer keyboard. The hand of man is the hand of God.

There is a scene in “The Creator”, the painting of Michelangelo that God breathed life into Adam. It is the scene that Adam who was not bestowed a soul, formed out of dust was positioned below and God who was breathing soul to him was positioned above facing each other. The center of this picture is the work of hands. God was breathing not the way of the laying on of hands but the way of breathing. Michelangelo, a scientist and artist who did his work by hand might feel God’s inspiration in his hand first before head. Yes. The hand of man is none other than God’s hand.

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Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all.(Mark 6:41)

In the preceding meditation, I mentioned that the hands of man are none other than the hands of God. Here the hands of man signify the real hand while the God’s hand is the instrument accompanied with the hands. However, it is clear that hands are the most important tool in creating a man materializing the plan of God.

Generally, the closest anthropoid is Homo sapiens (a man of thinking) and Homo erectus (pithecanthrope) is the next older and Homo Habillies(a man of using tool) is the oldest of the three. Recently some confusion has occurred in this chronicle because of finding of Homo Habillies who had lived in the next generation of Homo erectus. Whatever the order may be, it is clear that we see the character of human as thinking, standing, walking and using a tool.

Homo Habillies used a tool with his hands. It is a deceptive cause to go ahead in a competition with other animals. When they wanted to use their hands freely then definitely they should walk with two feet. They could use their hands even though it was not meant for standing straight. At this point there is high possibility that Homo Habillies was in the contemporary of Homo erectus.

Today we are also receiving such Homo Habillies’ genetic effects. It means the blood of the ancient anthropoid that made a tool with their hands 18 billionaires ago is flooding to us. Our descendants also may live by using these hands. They may make a spaceship with the hands and migrate somewhere else inhabitable in universe. After all, there is no other important hand than Jesus’ which break the loaves. I hope our hand is also busy in breaking loaves in this manner.

Five loaves and two fish (30)

Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all.(Mark 6:41)

I would like to say something more on human hands. The hand of man is quite different from it of other animals. A chimpanzee and gorilla are known for their close resemblance with men and they have great strength in their hands but they cannot be compared with the strength, multifunction and versatility of human hands. If they hold a baseball bat, human holds it by separating the thumb and other fingers but a chimpanzee holds it with all the fingers in same direction. This is the big difference; men can grip a bat correctly and firmly but a chimpanzee cannot. The gap of difference between man and chimpanzee becomes even bigger as we study more and more about them.

Nowadays there are some zoologists who treat a chimpanzee or a gorilla or an orangutan as their family. They become friends of the wild animals. They protect them from the hands of a poacher as they study them. When they pour out their affection for a long time, their mutual trust between them has been developed. Men learn their language and teach them men’s language.

However, I have never heard teaching them how to play the piano. Probably it might be impossible. Besides, music experience involves delicate motion which is impossible for them. I neither heard that they taught them how to sew. It is clear that their hands are not skillful enough to sew clothes.

A hand is the most important gift of God, which make human beings a unique creation. Just as the hands of Jesus that broke “Five loaves and two fish”, our hands also may be used in such precious work. It would begin by sharing of a meal together.

Five loaves and two fish (31)

Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all. (Mark 6:41)

I share with you in yesterday’s meditation that human hands have the versatility and power of creativity. It may need an additional explanation. Different from other animals, men have the ability to test complete freedom out of nature with the help of hands. Animals have the weakness in the fine movement of hands and they stay in the order of nature despite their other distinguished physical ability. However, human beings follow a totally different path. It is not an exaggeration to say that it is rooted in the power of hands.

According to different point of view, “You are in my hand” or we may say human cannot be completely free from nature despite his struggle; there is a huge difference between other animals and man. In men there is a progress of creativity of mind and action which is not found in other animal. For example, a magpie builds its nest exactly the same way and pattern of nest built hundred years ago but human builds his house totally different   from the way he built long ago. The animals live fully subject to the power of nature but human tries to be free from the power of nature regardless of its result. This is an attribute of civilization which is possible only in human. The hands took a decisive role in this process. At times, the function of hand is even more important than the power of thinking in a civilized society.

The hands clearly get us free from nature. How far can the hand use its power to exercise complete freedom? If there is no unusual incident it may go till the end of the world. As the anthropoids had been laid foundation for their life by making a stone axe, today we also widen our realm of freedom by making such tool. Then will it be an opportunity for our descendants to go to the universe?

Five loaves and two fish (32)

Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all.(Mark 6:41)

In yesterday’s meditation, I mentioned that human hand is a source of freedom. On the contrary it could also be the means of fall. Adam picked the fruit of Good and Evil with his hand and ate. As his heart and eyes were set on the fruit, now he needs his hand to put the work into practice. Adam’s hands led himself and the entire mankind into the place of misery. In this context, human hand is a double-edged sword. One side is sharpened to make the way of freedom and the other is sharpened to make the way of fall.

Could the two contradictory nature of hand be hidden in the state of our unconsciousness? I mean to say that storing the hands is uncomfortable. For example, we feel awkward to lay the hands while we are talking. Some first puts his hand into action even before speaking. Some rubs the hands or some rests his chin on his hands. Some speaks even as he slaps others with his hand. There are many people on TV that shows awkward movement of hands.

It is the same in preaching. A preacher moves his hands too much and others get stiff like a wax doll. According to my experience, my hand gets stiff when the progress of sermon is staggering. A pastor whom I met when I was young put on white gloves. He did so to attract the attention of the audience. It looks like an action to dilute the importance of God’s word in a seditious technique.

Yes. The hands give us both freedom and corruption. We are live in a state of uneasiness. This hand here is not only for practical purpose but also for spiritual needs. I hope our hand may be used to pioneer the way toward perfect freedom.

Five loaves and two fish (33)

Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all.(Mark 6:41)

The hands of Jesus that broke the five loaves might be uncouth and rough like that of a laborer. The palm of his hands may also bear marks of healed wound and scars itched on it. As he grew up as a carpenter whose job involved in handling wood with his bare hands, there is no wonder that he has some indelible scars on his hands.

When we see a masterpiece which shows Jesus as praying, his hands are drawn slender. His feature also completely resembles a typical western handsome man. A few years ago, a British scholar resuscitated Jesus’ face on a computer. It was a feature of typical Jews laborer, a direct contradiction to the masterpiece. Though we cannot find out Jesus’ real feature, if we choose a competitively closer one, it would be the latter.

Today we do not remember the hand of a carpenter though Jesus was a carpenter. We forget the hands of farmer that is employed for sowing seeds, cultivating and harvesting. We live by forgetting the hands of fisherman that catch fishes by throwing and pulling the net. We do not remember the hand of householder that is used for preparing food and washing dishes. We live in this manner though those hands are the hands that are used for breaking the five loaves and two fish. Instead, we use our hands in typing computer keyboard, swiping card and counting money. We who are living in the age of advanced information, service and IT cannot beautify the hands farmer- the human being living attached to the earth, and further made of the earth as material still should remember the hand of carpenter. We must be reminded of the precious gift of God-hands- that God has made us to use it for multi-purposes or we will be isolated from the foundation of life?

Five loaves and two fish (34)

Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all.(Mark 6:41)

After breaking the loaves with his hands, Jesus gave it to the disciples. Passing of the pieces of loaves from Jesus’ hands to the hands of the disciples indicated that Jesus worked together his disciples. The gospels pointed out that Jesus had worked with the disciples since the beginning of his public ministry. He sailed in the lake of Galilee, met the crowd and preached the word to them. In his ministry Jesus also healed the sick and drove out evil spirit from the demon possessed people. Jesus’ movement to sow the seed of the kingdom of God was always associated with the community from the beginning till the end of his life.

As followers of Jesus, our present church community life is very important for us. Such community where many people gather together and participate in sharing the kingdom of God is highly essential for Christian growth. Some are satisfied with their personal Bible studies and prayers but truly speaking such reclusive way of worship is a mistaken step for a true believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. Christianity is not a religion to pursue the truth all alone but a religion to make realistic of ‘making a forest together’ as the title of the book of Mr. Shin, Young-bok says.

However, it is not easy to embrace and uphold such a community. The disciples of Jesus were not the exemplary people in their social lives nor did they always understand Jesus’ thought. They did not know the true personality of Jesus even so long time after his crucifixion and resurrection. The community had lots of problem i.e. Judas Iscariot was a member but Jesus was working with them.

Yes. Even today a Church community should share their work among the members. People of different social and economic background should come together and share the common interest in a church community. Though a Church is spoken ill of because of the presence of people with uncultured and sinful nature, we should not hesitate to associate with them. We are all the disciples to whom Jesus told to distribute five loaves and two fish. We can certainly form a forest of faith together despite our emotional and racial differences.

Five loaves and two fish (35)

Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all.(Mark 6:41)

The disciples received the broken pieces of bread from Jesus. It is difficult for us to imagine what they think at that moment. When we think of it from a commonsense standpoint, they might think that something awkward was happening. The number of people gathered was 5000 people but the food that was in the hands of Jesus was just five loaves and two fish. Earlier the disciples told Jesus that they could not solve the problem of the hunger of the masses with even two hundred denari.

The disciples were always in a state of dilemma in the given situation where to feed the 5000 hungry people would cost more than 2 hundred denari but they had only five loaves and two fish. This reflects the existence of present Christians who pose as the disciple. The ability given to us is only five loaves and two fish but the demands of the people who are to be served in this world are much bigger than our capability. This enormous unbalance is the position of our present life.

Under such situation, we are easily tempted to increase our ability by several thousand times so as to match the requirement of the world. The logic to do God’s work with money is so prevalent in the church. They insist necessity of building the biggest church in the world and should send the greatest number of missionary in the world.

Likewise to depend on sounding power is like the temptation of picking the forbidden fruit and eat. When such power is given the spiritual tension that the disciples should keep gives way in a moment. Spirituality itself gets dry and a secular power is gaining ground. Though it seems shabby outwardly, we have to depend on five loaves and two fish. The five loaves and two fish is the energy of life which was in Jesus’ hand. It is the body of Jesus Christ that gives life to the entire humankind. Do we have it in our hand?

Five loaves and two fish (36)

Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all.(Mark 6:41)

Let us again vividly imagine the scene of the content. The sun was beginning to set in the west. People sit in group by hundred or fifty. At this closing of the day, when the crowd was about to be sent back home or to find something to eat for the crowd, Jesus, taking the five loaves and two fish, looked up to heaven, gave thanks and then he gave it to his disciples.

I would like to reflect the heart of disciples who hold the pieces of five loaves and two fish. The small number of disciples is similar to the small number of Christians in our present society. In yesterday’s mediation, I mentioned that the disciples might be perplexed at the situation but now I realized that they would not always react like that. They trusted Jesus. How long do they live together? Though they had a little trial and error at the initial stage, it is clear that they basically had lived depending on Jesus.

Looking at the present scenario of the life of the present discipleship, we find that the disciples are facing some hurdles. They have not lost the light they have received but somehow they could not powerfully witness the light to the world. The influence of the worldly power is so strong that the disciples could recognize the light of Jesus dimly. They do not exactly know what will happen in the near future in their practical life, but when Jesus comes, he will fulfill the mission completely. It is fine that our faith is not very clear. If we do not give up the light though it is not so bright, someday we will find the light with our living soul. By that time, we will be dramatically changed by the light.

Five loaves and two fish (37)

Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all. (Mark 6:41)

Now we have five loaves and two fish in our hands. The bread of life and fish are in our shameful hand. We should not forget two important facts. First, five loaves and two fish are parts of our life. The loaves and the fish are the food items that satisfied the hunger of the multitude gathered in the wilderness of Galilee in those days. There is also the manna and quails with which the wandering Israelites in the wilderness were resuscitated them from dying of hunger and the loaves and the fish are also the body of Christ who was crucified on the cross at Golgotha.

We have to seriously ask whether we truly understand the realities of life which give life to the world. We may say outwardly yes. However, it seems we do not practically know what gives us true life and even do not want to know it. The gospel is not merely of talks but of power. The power is the power of life. Those who have such power do not get spiritual exhaustion and do not waste their energy meaninglessly. They do not fall into self-pietism or self-concentration.

Second, our hands do not have power in themselves. They are merely tools used by man. Five loaves and two fish should be revealed in a flesh and our hand should be hidden as far as possible. The fact, five loaves and two fish that are held in our hands, cannot produce anything good without God’s grace. The very presence of the gospel in the hands of our shameful personality is the evidence of God’s grace.

Holy five loaves and two fish are in our secular hand. Holiness and secularism are in the same place. Holiness is actualized through secularism and secularism is sanctified through holiness. The Disciples of Christ are holy on the one side and secular on the other. They are holy secularist and also secular saints. We cannot escape from such tension until we die. If we incline to any one side in order to escape from this tension, then the very moment, we may lose our spirituality as Christians.

38

In yesterday’s meditation I mentioned that the holy five loaves and two fish are in our shameful hand. The holy five loaves and two fish in our hands are the visible expression showing that we have the essence of Christian faith. I would like to share some more about this ‘holiness’.

I remember ‘Boule de Suif’, which is a short novel of Maupassant. It is a story written in the backdrop of the situation when German attacked France. A group of people from a village took a ride in a coach to take refuge. Nuns, a managing director of company, teacher and others sat in better places and a prostitute called ‘Boule de Suif’ took a corner of the coach. The passengers began to talk ill of the scandalous activities of the prostitute.  They continued the journey of refuge with the unpleasant feeling even as they sat together with her. They arrived at a village but unfortunately it was fully occupied by Germans. They requested the German officers to share some occupancy with them because they were just civilians who are in need of some shelter. The officer would like to grant their request on the condition that they should send one woman to him the very night to sleep with him. Now the companions began to persuade the prostitute to spend the night with the German officer. Even the nun requested her to sleep with the officer. The prostitute initially refused to do this. But upon the repeated persuasion and finding no other means to save their companions, she finally slept with him for the sake of the company’s safety. The next day the members of the company who were again riding on the coach began to speak ill of the prostitute’s loose character saying, “A Boule de suit is a Boule de suit.”

In his novel, Maupassant accuses European morality which was covered by Christian pietism of those days saying, “Who is Boul de Suif?” This accusation could be ours even today. We cannot maintain our holiness through our strict observance of religious principles and patterns. We do not have any part of holiness on our own. We only have the privilege of possessing Jesus’ holiness transferred to us out of his mercy.

39

There is a book entitled, ‘Sweeper to Saint: Stories of Holy India’ written by Baba Hari Dass, translated by Mr. Siwha Ryu. The author was born in Himalaya. He began his journey for spiritual enlightenment and achieved it through silent meditation. Now I do not remember the name of hero of this book and its complete story but I remember a little about its conclusion; the returned hero was living as a sweeper after he had visited many places. He sweeps with inadvertence and without any signs of hesitation. He absolutely did not bother even if people are around and he swept and removed the garbage. People accepted him as a saint.

The point his book would like to say is very clear; there is truth in daily life. The life identified with truth is the very life of a saint. Mysteries can be seen in the universe. The leaf of Paulownia that falls in autumn is also a mystery. Gravitational force works in this incident. The revolution and rotation of the earth and the creation of the sun are also closely connected to this mystery of natural phenomena. Keeping in view of this connectivity and interdependence of the creation of God, a vice-chancellor and a sweeper do not have any difference in the truest sense. If the vice-chancellor does not know the universal mystery then his work also can be humble but if a sweeper knows it then his sweeping work will be holy. The main problem is that we do not approach it in practical life as we know only in theory. It is a helplessness of life. We just live stereotypically not tasting the truth dwelling in daily life.

We Christians are distinguished holy people through Jesus, the son of God. We are the people who received the holy five loaves and two fish in our hand and who received and ate Jesus’ holy body as the communion. Then we do not need to feel dishearten even though we live as a sweeper. I hope our daily life itself may be holy not mouth only but in practical applications.

40

The Majesty, holiness and sovereignty of God experienced by Isaiah is recorded in Isaiah Chapter 6. Isaiah said, “I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple.  Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying.  And they were calling to one another: "Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory." (2-3)

If we are to look at the literal meaning of the word ‘holy’, it is the opposite of the word ‘secular’. The synonym of the word Secular is worldly. However, we are not able to fathom into the true meaning of ‘holy’ for which the Seraphs praised. As we see in last two day’s meditation, if a word prostitute and a sweeper with a humble occupation can be holy then we have to think about the word, ‘holy’ much more profoundly.

The word ‘holy’ corresponds to God alone. It is because he is the Creator, the Lord of the last judgment and the center and originator of all lives. The very God is the one whom we cannot put a limit to a certain category. Human race and the universe, creatures are not applicable to the word holy. The entire human race cannot but acknowledge that they are sinner before God. Realizing this fact, Isaiah also confessed, “I live among a people of unclean lips.”

Though we do not have the holiness in us by nature, we can put on the holy coat. It is the very fulfillment of the Holy Spirit. When we are captured by the Holy Spirit, we will be acknowledged as holy ones. Our dirty lips will be burnt like the five loaves and two fish. Ordinary things could become like the holy five loaves and two fish through Jesus. O Lord, you are the only holy one.

41

While Moses, the son-in-law of the Median priest was living in the house of the latter, one day he experienced the majesty and greatness of the Lord God on the Mount Horeb. Moses saw that the bush was on fire but it was not burnt up. When Moses came closer to the burning bush to have a closer look, the LORD God said, "Do not come any closer. Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground." (Exo. 3:5)

In a similar context, Isaiah also realized the fact that his lip was unclean after hearing how the seraphs praised God. Moses had to take off his sandals in obedience and reverence to the Lord God. Both of them experienced the greatness of God as a holy being.

We cannot but ask in this way. Why is only a temple holy and why is the Mt. Horeb holy? Why did God meet them in a specific Place? The ancient people regarded a specified place as holy. Israel people who have maintained the holy place tradition including Jerusalem temple have such deeper recognition. Muslim regards a pilgrimage to the Holy Land as a very important religious duty.

However, if this world is a creation of God, we have to regard any place on in the universe as holy. The word “the place where you are standing is holy ground” is just and event and experience with God happened in a specific region. God is a holy being. Those who have experience with him cannot but would take off their sandals.

Today we maintain religious life but we do not know what this experience is all about. Though people say that they heard God’s word or experienced God’s favor, there is no deeper relationship with God and such things are limited only to mere rough and superficial knowledge and ended up in a psychological operation. Being experienced with God would mean the experience about the reality of God which is also an experience for the holy being to which we cannot but take off our sandals. Jesus’ five loaves and two fish was a holy eatable material because the reality of God dwells in it.

Five loaves and two fish (42)

Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all. (Mark 6:41)

In the preceding meditation I mentioned that having practical experience with God is high necessary for a Christian. I would like to add some more explanation for better understanding for those who could not understand the question, ‘If you say God is God, then, what does the reality of God mean?’

You may find it difficult to clearly understand the real meaning of the word, ‘reality’ in this particular context. Reality comes under the word, Wirklichkeit in German. Of course, these two words do not seem to complement to each other completely.  There is another word in German which comes under reality in English. But there is no word which comes under Wirklichkeit in German. The meaning of the word, Wirklichkeit is more implicated than that of ‘reality’. Wirklichkeit points out the truth, reality in dialectical meaning while reality simply means the state of being real. When we say the reality of God, we can think of the German word, Wirklichkeit.

Yes. God meets us in reality. He meets us with truth. He visits at our ultimate life. The Bible is the statement of those who experienced God’s reality. However, the reality of God is not fixed in a specific form rather it varies from one person to another according to a given situation and time in this universe. Some experience the reality of God while reading the word of God or while having worship service or while taking a walk. The young Martin Luther had such experience at the moment when his friend was struck to death by lightning. Our descendants may experience the reality of God in different forms in the future.

The important point we can grasp here is that it is the very holy experience that one cannot but take off his sandals.

43

Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all. (Mark 6:41)

The thing we experience the reality of God is an experience of the holy being. Rudolf Otto, a scholar in the science of religion, in his book “Das Heilige”(Holiness), called such experience as ‘Numinose’. Moses’ historic experience with God on Mount Horeb, Isaiah’s experience in the temple and Mary’s ultimate surrender to the will of the Angel are all closely associated with the holy fear.

There is a play named “Agnes of God’. Agnes is a nun with a pure soul. She devoted her piety life only, a nun’s duty. She did not know anything but her duty. Then one day she gave birth to a baby. An abbey had a great disturbance because of this and it would lose the entire reputation of the abbey. The director of abbey pressed her hard to reveal who was the man. However, Agnes knew nothing. She always prayed and read the word of God regularly. One day she saw a bright light. It was a sexual violence in modern term but she did not know at all. Agnes was a mere childlike unfaithful nun in the eyes of the director of abbey. The book does not censure Agnes. Rather she was a nun with a holy soul.

We easily conclude a holy life to be a secular life. We conclude that the religiously refined Pharisee’s life is holy and a vicious tax collector and a prostitute’s life as sinfully secular. It is difficult to understand the fact that such style of life does not give any influence to ‘Numinose’, a true religious experience. The important thing is to meet the reality of God. It is a holy incident of God which is not able to experience by ages or personality.

44

They all ate and were satisfied,

The disciples distributed the bread and the fish to people as instructed by Jesus. The number of adult men was more than 5,000 and to feed them, it would cost two hundred denari as per the calculation made by the disciples. They all ate and were satisfied.

It is not easy to understand what exactly it means. It was hard to understand just in a small paragraph. When the disciples asked Jesus to send the people away so they could go to the surrounding countryside and villages and buy for themselves something to eat," Jesus answered, "You give them something to eat." When the Disciples brought the five loaves Jesus gave thanks and broke the loaves and gave it to his disciples to distribute it among the multitude. However, now the situation is entirely different. The statement about feeding the huge crowd with a few pieces of bread and fish was something not digestible with our rational thinking. Five loaves and two fish are merely a meal for a person or two. But amazingly, large multitudes ate of it and were all satisfied.

Some may think it could be possible for Jesus had such power. They regard the incidence of five loaves and two fish as Jesus’ natural supernatural power. Not only this story, would it be better for us to ask for a wider meaning. Did Jesus really perform supernatural power in his public life? There are many accounts about Jesus’ supernatural power in the Gospels. Jesus changed water into wine or walked on water or healed a chronic disease and even raised the dead. Retrospect to the incidence of his Virgin birth which is also a supernatural. In view of his supernatural power demonstrated in different occasions, you may think that to feed more than five thousand is natural phenomenon. Yes. If we believe such report without any doubt, is it better to first know the real state of affairs and believe?

45

They all ate and were satisfied, (Mark 6:42)

When we read the Bible we should not miss out some important points. First, basically the Bible is a transmission. It is not a direct report of a journalist who writes as he sees and hears but a story transmitted from mouth to mouth over a long period of time. Second, the Bible is not a simple report but an interpretation. Precisely speaking, it is a spiritual interpretation. Third, the core of a supernatural phenomenon written in the Bible is subject. The subject is, of course, God and it is demonstratively Jesus in today’s content.

The third fact is the most important of all. The spiritual eyesight mainly focuses on God, Jesus. Others supplements are the means to show the reality of Jesus. When we read the Bible we must concentrate on Jesus with the same insight of the author of the Bible and not to be biased by other strayed information. You may be anxious about it in two ways when you hear of it.  One may ask a question whether it has the same value to concentrate on a supernatural incident or on Jesus. Or does Jesus have a supernatural power? You may be anxious about it but let’s skip it today.

I again emphasize that the Bible is an ancient script. It is a historical document which was transmitted at “setting life” that the ancient people had experienced, written and edited. The people of the Biblical era thought those incidents that we call now supernatural, miracle as natural. It means there was not much distinction between natural and supernatural. Like manna and quail such natural phenomena also looked like supernatural according to circumstance. We have to see the Bible within the context of those days when the Bible was first written. Otherwise our spirituality may be contaminated with a blind faith or fall into cynicism. How can we read the Bible as God’s vivid word which has full of spiritual meaning?

46

They all ate and were satisfied, (Mark 6:42)

I would like to bring out two questions I stored up yesterday meditation.

First, can it be the same a concern for super-natural phenomena and Jesus Christ? No. Though Jesus is described as a miracle performer in the gospels it is not the heart of the gospels. The heart is Jesus, the Son of God. The Early Christian community understood as the son of God is a clue to understand all incidents and phenomena, related to Jesus. Because he was the son of God, all the impossible incidents for a natural man could happen. With such point of view, Jesus’ public life would be shed new light on. Yes. Jesus in the gospels is the one who newly interpreted with the view of Messiah. Let’s think of it. If such miracle already happened in his life and his Messianic character was clear in his public life, could the incident of crucifixion be happened? Everything was concealed in those days. No one pay any attention to Jesus. No one thought crucifixion as the way of human salvation and no one, even the Disciples, also were not able to expect Jesus’ resurrection. Here, Jesus’ resurrection and miracle is totally different story.

Second, Didn’t Jesus perform miracle? There is no unreligious and anthological thing than this question. Did or Didn’t Jesus perform miracle cannot be in his Messianic classification. I wonder how the believer of the creator God, created the world from nothing, loss their heart in such tiny miracle fairy-tale. We are the people who lay our destiny and our soul on God’s salvation activities. Especially, God’s universal salvation activity is the heart. See Paul’s letter. Not even single time he mentioned about Jesus’ miracle in his letters. The only concern of him was Jesus’ crucifixion and his resurrection.

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47

They all ate and were satisfied, (Mark 6:42)

I would like to continue yesterday’s story a little more though it is beside point of meditation. I told you yesterday that Paul had been keeping silence for the Jesus’ miracles in his public life and didn’t accept such miracle as the heart of Christian faith. Some of you may say about Paul’s mission history described in Acts. As we know very well, according to Acts there happened frequent supernatural phenomena in early Christian history. Even Paul was involved in such super natural incident.

In formal point of view, Acts is a gospel about Paul. It is a document to write Paul’s activity and the gospels are a document for Jesus’ activity written by each authors. The story of Acts can be understood a little objectively with an autograph letter of Paul but the gospels have difficulty to understand due to there is no such letter.

Let’s see Paul’s case first. It is the New Testament theologians’ common opinion that there are quite a number of differences between Paul’s image in his letter and Acts. I cannot mention in detail about the difference here. Connected to today’s theme there are quite a number of cases of performing supernatural power in Acts but not in his letter. Why is it different?

Acts’ report about Paul doesn’t deal with the fact. Luke the author of Acts lived at least one generation later. It was the time that Hebrew Christianity in Jerusalem was declining and Paul’s Greek Christianity was entering as the main stream. He wrote an article to restore Paul’s history with various oral tradition and material. How could he write accurate history in those days?

48

They all ate and were satisfied, (Mark 6:42)

Now we are sharing the idea whether we see the incident of five loaves and two fish as a supernatural phenomenon. Some may worry about that my explanation is off the point too much. No. It isn’t. What contents in the Bible we face we have to see it by relating to the entire Bible. The text of five loaves and two fish cannot be interpreted with itself only but should connect to the entire contents of Mark’s gospel and further it has to connect to the entire gospels and New Testament. It is just like that we have to keep not only the object leaf but also the entire plant and life phenomenon as a background in order to study a leaf.

So I accent the view of introduction, whenever I get chance, not only in this meditation but other Bible studies too. Introduction is a basic orientation. We should know a basic direction of Mark’s gospel and New Testament, and then we don’t get lost before the detailed contents. The decisive problem of today’s Bible studies and preaching of Korean church is this. Mostly they are lingering in text part. Even this they mostly used to fall in subjectivity. When the subjectivity of Bible interpreter rules the Bible text, finally the unique objectivity of the word dies.

There are many who think to receive grace from the Word rather than the Bible introduction or its objectivity. As a wife who feels comfort with consistent confirming of her husband’s love, now we almost nervously seem to fall into grace-monism. Such people cannot enter the Bible world which beyond a subjective belief and grace experience. It would be a similar to a woman who finally doesn’t enter into the world of love while indulging in the fact of being loved by her husband..

49

They all ate and were satisfied, (Mark 6:42)

Some of you would like to push me to give a clear answer whether do I believe the incident, several thousands of people were full with the five loaves and two fish. You may think I’m beating around the bush and so you may make a decision in advance I don’t believe it. Whenever I stand before such question, I feel uncomfortable and pitiful. How can I explain more the fact that though the content clearly says seemingly supernatural incident but it is not the heart of the content?

I ask once again. What practically had happened at that time? When the disciples broke bread and gave it to a man, then the bread in a disciple’s hand rose again? The content doesn’t explain about it in detail. It only points out that those who were hungry ate heartily. Here the important point is that the author doesn’t mention about the bread itself. The phenomenon of rising bread by itself is a magic. Magic concentrates on a strange phenomenon. A pigeon comes out of a magician’s hat or cards ceaselessly come out of magician’s hand. If the incident of five loaves and two fish was such level, the author might describe the scene of rising bread in detail.

The content concentrates on the fact, “ate heartily”. A certain power that they couldn’t explain might engulf them. The power had happened from Jesus. The author of gospels wanted to deliver that a miraculous incident is happing from Jesus, Messiah and the Son of God. In ancient times, a supernatural incident was the way of delivering such fact. Do not misunderstand. It doesn’t mean the author of gospel intentionally decorated it with groundless story. For Jesus the incident of five loaves and two fish is rather a small thing. According to John’s gospel, Jesus, Logos is retroacted till the time of creation. According to gospel’s testimony, there is creation without Jesus.

50

They all ate and were satisfied, (Mark 6:42)

I will mention about this matter once more for those who are interest in miracle. Those miracles written the gospels and Acts are frequently happening in the outside world of the Bible. Even now such news is many. In Roman Catholic such phenomena happen more frequently. The story the Mother Mary directly appeared or the story about the women who heal the diseases with a special power. Among Apocrypha or Pseudographia which couldn’t be canonized as the New Testament, there are many miracle performing stories of Jesus’ childhood.

The early Christianity gave up such Apocrypha and Pseudographia and accepted the four gospels. It means the early Christianity didn’t have much concern on Jesus’ superpower. Rather, they focused on the fact that Jesus is the Son of God to save mankind. In order to testify this fact based on those days’ world view, they accepted the incidents, seemingly for us supernatural today. The incident of Five loaves and two fish is one of them.

Yes. The author of Mark’s gospel is concentrated on Jesus only rather than a miracle phenomenon itself. It says, “They all ate and were satisfied.” This is the only thing he would like to say. Jesus has the power to satisfy all. I say again, don’t think his power as a supernatural one. The division of natural and supernatural is meaningless before Jesus. Jesus’ power transcendences it. His power is rather revealed in the humility of his cross.

Now we have to see Jesus’ power not merely as supernatural power but a true power of life. This life transcendences all our plan, expectation and the entire uncertainty of life. It is the life which will be completed on the end of world. Jesus’ power is its’ reality.

51

According to the testimony in the scripture, more than 5000 people ate of the five loaves and two fish and were all satisfied. This miraculous event cannot be directly applied to our present context. There are still many hungry people, including children and old men. There are also several poor countries which cannot provide enough food for their own citizens in which North Korea is not an exception.

Generally, the immediate cause of poverty is the laziness or the bad lock of an individual. However, all of us have the responsibility of this poverty. As you know, hunger is the result of un-even distribution and it is not due to lack of food. If the rich who have the habit of spending extravagantly continue with this habit, solution to the problem of poverty is really tough. A fundamental change of life is the real means of Metanoia which referred in new testimony. In U.S. society, the obesity becomes the main issue. Yes, they eat too much, especially meat. Actually, meat causes problems for other foods. To grow animals for meat, we need a large quantity of grain. If we use this grain for food instead of feeding the animals, the starvation of Africans could be solved. In this context, Koreans are not better than American. If we change the eating habit, we could provide food to North Koreans. How or where can we find the way in which everybody gets a share and satisfied?

52

A poet, Jiha Kim published his book called, ‘rice’. In this book, he indicated Jesus as rice and he explained about that. The same metaphoric expression can be seen in John’s Gospel. John, who wrote John’s testimony, delivered message like any other any other Synoptic gospel writers, interpreted this in theological point of view. The part of interpretation is found from 6:22-59. It is a unique testimony which is different from the Synoptic gospel. The expression, ‘I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty’, is very significant in the book of John. After this speech, Jesus had a debate with the Jews, and made a conclusion saying ‘I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Anyone who eats this bread will live forever; and this bread, which I will offer so that the world may live, is my flesh’.

The view point in which Jesus is regarded as rice expressed by Jiha Kim, the poet is right. Jesus becomes the bread for the world. His flesh was torn and his blood was shed on the cross. He dedicated himself onto the altar. We receive redemption through his flesh and blood. Yes, the poet elucidated the relation between the cross and the bread in a given community. In this we get a message that we should share with others the bread which comes from Jesus. Although it could spark a debate, the interpretation of the fact that the body of Jesus which is the bread for human life has potential and dynamic means for spiritual strength of the Christians.

More than five thousand people were satisfied with the mere five loaves and two fish. Is this occurrence of miracle due to the presence of Jesus or the availability of food? Can Jesus till be our bread today?

53

The interpretation of the ‘five loaves and two fish’, from John 6:22-59, is the basic theology of Christianity for the earlier Christians. Early Christians believed that Jesus is the real bread of life. ‘"I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.” Jesus replied. Yes, this should not be interpreted literately. We feel hungry if we stay long without food, and we fall sick even though we believe in Jesus. So, we can not literally equalize Jesus with the physical foods.

John has already provided the clue. After debating, Jesus replied them, “Your ancestors ate manna in the wilderness, but they all died.” The Jews were very proud that their ancestors survived in the wilderness with the miracle of manna and quails. However, Jesus pointed out the missing point. Even though their ancestors survived they finally died.

Though the wilderness manna and quails were part of the miracles of God, it can not give eternal life to human. It is just a shadow of spiritual contentment. The manna and the meat of quails could be a solution to a problem of scarcity of food, but pathetically it cannot give real life. The early Christians do not regard the temporary life as real life.

Then what is the real life and bread? Early Christians thought the resurrection of Jesus as the real life and that is why they believed Jesus as the real bread of life. Then, two questions arise from here. Is our physical food meaningless to our life? What is the resurrection which is regarded as the real life?

54

From previous meditation, two questions occurred. One of them is the question that there is no relationship between the physical bread and the bread of heaven. The physical bread indicates the manna, which Israelites ate in the wilderness but died. We eat these kinds of manna but we will die, too. And then, if the physical food keeps our life for a while, what kind of importance does it have?

I think I must be in dilemma. Without food, we immediately die. Food is the most basic needs for our physical life. However, in the book of John, Jesus is saying that food cannot give us life. Could one of them be a lie? According to our experience, food is more essential for our life than the words of Jesus. Then, is Jesus a liar? Even if it is not a lie, he didn’t seem to understand reality, did he? Furthermore, is it possible for the earlier Christians to misunderstand the words of Jesus?

In primary dimension, food we are having does not support real life, because we die even if we eat. However, if we take food not for our hungry stomachs but for grace of God, food becomes the essential factor for our life, since it is a channel to meet God.

If we keep in mind this, we will never think to take all of food. We could not help sharing food, which is the gift of God, with others. According to the Old Testament, the rest of Manna, being collected more than a family needs in the wilderness, became rotten.

55

If we take daily bread as the grace of God, bread gives us a significant meaning. However, we should remind that bread gives us life only while we are living in this world. Bread cannot guarantee an eternal life and it will become meaningless after death. I’ve never heard that ghosts of our ancestors eat the offered food in a memorial service. It means that bread could offer just a limited life.

To know the eternal bread for life, we should return to the book of John. “I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Anyone who eats this bread will   live forever.” It could be the most important confession from early Christians as well as from modern Christians including us. Then, what on earth does it mean? It might be understood that we could get the meaning of life, if we believe in Jesus. However, other religion or art might also show the meaning of life. Then, does it mean that other religion, art, or humanism could be the life of bread?

It is not appropriate to interpret Christianity by comparison with other religion. At first, we should focus on that earlier Christians who had accepted Jesus as the bread of eternal life. They had a special experience about Jesus, being totally different from this limited world. Although all the people did not admit that kind experience, many early Christians were convinced of Jesus. And they liked to share their special experience of Jesus. Some of audience accepted, another rejected them. Then, we also have responsibility to share our special experience of Jesus.

56

The early Christians witnessed and experienced resurrection of Jesus and therefore they referred Jesus as the real eternal bread for life. Everything is mortal in this world. It is the natural order. However, the early Christians experienced something which was not natural. The life of Jesus did not come to an end with his death but with the subsequent resurrection he lives eternally. The life of resurrection is the eternal life. In this context, Jesus is the eternal bread of life. The early Christians had the belief and conviction that Jesus was resurrected and his glorious resurrection overcomes the power of death.

People think that the resurrection is a revival or born again of physical form. However, the kind of resurrection Christians have experienced is totally different. The scenario of resurrection is different from the scenario of biological and physical revival. There are limitations of expression in human words, such as eternal life. We live in this limited world, so we do not have the exact word for that. Our life on earth could be compared to a frog in the backdrop of huge volume of water of a well or worse than that. However, the resurrection is the real life. It does not appear like something real but more of idealism. Think about what is real. We might have a fixed idea about that. The resurrection in the Bible is more realistic than our fixed idea. Is there any thing more realistic than the revelation of God himself?

57

Being called Jesus as the bread of life does not mean that he improves the quality of life. Jesus did not come for changing rock into bread. This kind of idea and thought plays down the majesty of Jesus as a social or political savior.  Jesus might think that this idea is worse than temptation of Satan.

Actually, these things were a sort of temptation for Jesus as he experienced pains and crisis of the world. It is the temptation for him, to increase the quality of life for human being and to terminate the disasters in the world. If he gives his way to these temptations, he will not give people the eternal life. In the same context, a church pursues its major work to give physical bread instead of the bread of life. This approach is different from the intention of Jesus.

It can be sung of heaven that God provides us daily bread. However, it is not the essential issues. A church should give others the bread of life what Jesus brought. It is the will of God who sent Jesus in to the world. Jesus has shared these things in John.

The will of God is that people should turn to God and find the real life. Then gather all people who realize the real truth in God. According to John, Jesus gave his body for that particular purpose. Jesus lived and died to give us this true life. It is the real and accomplished life. It is the only thing needed that God approves.

58

In a previous meditation, I quoted Pannenberg’s article about the temptation of Satan. While Mark slightly touched the subject on temptation, Matthew and Luke dwelt at length on the particular subject. One of the stories is the five loaves and two fish and life.

After having fasted for forty days, Satan tempted Jesus saying, “If you are the Son of God, tell this stone to become a loaf of bread”. This kind of demand was asked since the human history ever started, and it is strong and earnest desire of human. Look at the wild animals.  They spend most of their time in seeking food. Like anyone of them, the main concern of our ancestors was on how to get food. Their earnest wish was to get enough food and to give them the sense of food security. In this given context, a person who can change stone into a loaf of bread could be considered the Messiah. So, Satan craftily tempted Jesus.

These days, politicians promise the same thing. They set up propaganda such as GDP 7% or 8%. Many people expect the same things from politicians. Entrepreneurs also say that economic development and the labor unions ask the economic benefits. Yes, we can not simply criticize them. Actually, we should share the bread in the world and the economic justice should be dealt with seriously in the ethical and theological point of view. However, we shouldn’t miss that Satan gave Jesus the temptation ‘become stone into a loaf of bread’. This kind of temptation has come to mankind in the history of mankind and same will continue in the days to come.

59

In the preceding meditation, I pointed out that Satan struck the right time in tempting Jesus. Such kind temptation has existed long time in the history of mankind. After the incident of historic temptation of Jesus, it is given to understand that the Messiah should be the one who can even change a stone to a loaf of bread to satisfy the hunger of someone.

In response of Satan’s suggestion Jesus responded saying, “Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” This response does not deny the importance of bread in our life. In this sentence, both of bread and word, is important for human. However, the word of God is given more importance. Satan apparently suggests that every problems of human rests on the ‘bread’. Hence, whoever solves this problem is to be the Messiah. When Satan suggested the same thing, Jesus squarely declined the idea of Satan. Jesus said, “Man does not live on bread alone but the word from God”.

Which one of the two ideas is right- the bread saves the world, or the word of God saves the world or both? We are the people who chose the word of God. However, we might not be able to act according the word in our real life. It is not because we are hypercritics but we do not know well the word of God or because we have less experience with the word. We hardly feel the regime of God with the word. Therefore, we could not live within the life of God. That’s why our spirituality remains stagnant and does not grow up.

60 

Think over the respond of the Jesus quoted from Deuteronomy 8: 3

 ‘He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD’ . It was also based on the speech of Moses during the 40 years of wild life with the Israelites. It is like the will of the Moses.  In Deuteronomy 8: 3, he proclaimed that God led them not by food but by the word of God during the wild life. This historical fact has shown and given the evidence that ‘men do not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord’

For the Israelites, ‘the wild’ refers to the point of division in their fate. There is less chance to survive for the poor. The circumstance in which they lived in the wilderness was too bad for survival, even for trained people. Under such extreme condition, the Israelites including children and the elders might have faced several problems. However, they went through by Manna. Moses convinced this historical fact shown that people lives are not only led by bread but by God’s words.

However, we cannot directly apply this logic into our life. Whenever people face desperate situations, men naturally look for food. Sometimes, it looks natural because the Israelites also did the same thing. They asked for the food and insisted that they should go back to Egypt. They resented Moses. On the other hand, Moses was different. He stuck to his faith that the life depends on the God’s word. God showed himself through his words when he focused on God’s words.

We can have such wonderful experience with God in our lives. This experience alone can give the way for the ‘life’. And Jesus also confessed by quoting the word of Moses which says, “Man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD”

61

I would like to add some more explanation to the chapter, 60. The very existence of our lives is maintained through food which is a material thing on earth. It is very clear that nobody can live without food.  Food is therefore the source of life. When we have enough of food we are satisfied and feel happy. Conversely, if we do not have food, we will be embarrassed and feel unhappy. In this point of view, a welfare-country, ‘from a cradle to a grave’, might be our dream world. I also hope Korea to become a welfare-country where people do not need to worry about educational and medical service.

If we just think about happiness on the earth, we might concern only on this aspect. However, we Christians should think of other aspect of happiness based on the earth. In my opinion, if we have more of safe devices on the earth, we normally go away from the true life. Although it may not be applicable to all, many of people who have the contentment of having abundance of wealth on earth may not feel the need of depending on God.  Those who are self- sufficient do not normally seek God. The thought that one can live without God is that of the mind of conceit and arrogance. It is sinful, since it destroys the ‘life’. Unfortunately, we do not recognize at that point of time, we just come to know only after destroying our-selves and the life of others.   

62

Five thousand men, excluding women and children, ate the ‘five loaves and two fish’ and were satisfied and even remained twelve baskets. Calculating the number of people who ate the bread and the fish is not important. The writer mentions the number of as 5000 stressing that it really happened. However, the important point is faith.

After more than 5000 people have had their fills there remained twelve baskets of food. Yes! “The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not be in want.” David had already said that the Christian community always has everything in abundance. So, they are not in want and the only need is the empty basket for filling the remaining food. Some might consider this context as something which is right only on theological view point and could not be understood realistically. For instance, 30% of Korean churches could not run by self finance. Then what does it mean by enough and abundance?

However, let’s think deeper. All Korean churches are not poor. If the Korean churches can be healthy, churches that depend on others’ financial assistance might be disappeared. It is not just structural or systemic problems. It is not the right expression that the individual church is short of budget. Un-self financed churches spend more money than their income. If they just spend within their budget, such financial problem may not occur among these churches. So, the solution is that they should make a balance between income and expense, so that they could have some balance. The problem is that we do not really want to live in that way.

63

After the crowd had had their fill, there was a residue of twelve baskets of loaves and fish. The original food of five loaves two fish was less than one basket. Everyone ate and was satisfied from the ‘five loaves and two fish’ moreover there was a leftover of more than twelve times of the original food. How could this happen? Did the Jesus do a miracle?

I do not want to oppose this opinion, because the subject of the argument is far beyond human understanding. According to my understanding it is not a miracle that comes from this world but from the spirit.

This case is not just simple natural miracle but a spiritual miracle. It is not to be regarded as some conventional occurrence of miracle. The spiritual miracle surpasses the natural principle and it is more essential and deeper than any sort of natural miracle.

The God who created the world can perform miracles but he is not one who would simply satisfy the curiosity of man through the some magic. Rather God performs miracle in accordance with the principle of nature. In this context, the resurrection of Jesus is not the reverse of the principle of nature but the surpassing the nature.

As I have mentioned earlier, people of the ancient times understood the ‘saving of life’ by God through some supernatural power. However, our Christian faith should be not based on this supernatural power. What I mean is that, we should read the Bible with the knowledge of the periodical context.

64

Multitude of people ate the 5 loaves and 2 fish and they were all satisfied and there was food left over of twelve baskets. It sound incredible, but it is miracle. However we should discerningly see what this miracle is all about.

We should not look at the miracle as one that violates the principle of nature. Normally a miracle occurs in accordance with the principle of nature. Therefore, this miracle can be seen only by limited persons. What is the miracle?

I think it is one of the miracles that started the initial Christian community. The disciples never thought to build up a church. They were only ordinary people who did not know the reality of Jesus. They never imagined the cross of Jesus and his resurrection. So, it was quite improbable that they would build up Christian community with its long history as we have now.

Gradual development of Christianity as it is today is a real visible miracle. In fact, miracle is seen in our daily lives. The natural phenomena of sprouting up of a seed to become a tree that brings forth flowers and fruit is a kind of miracle. Let us think over the history of the earth. The earth was a fire ball 4.5billion years ago. Who can expect that this fire ball would produce lives? Therefore, it is also the miracle which happened on the earth.

And now, let us turn back to the question of five loaves and two fish. Someone may say that this incident is different from what is happening around us. However, essentially there is no differentiation at all. The only point of difference in this case is that Jesus did this miracle. He made impossible things possible. The writer of this scroll was not interested in the specific cases and the procedures. The only important things for him, was that something happened what we never expected.    

65

In one aspect, the church where Christians confess ‘Jesus is the Christ’ should be the place where impossible things happen. It can be possible to build the biggest church in the world. And it is also possible to get naturally cured an incurable disease even out of a church. So then, what kind of miracle should be expected in a church?

 For instance, it is ‘Consensus’ among the members. Actually, ‘consensus’ is impossible out of a church. There is always competition among the companies and the labor unions who can not reach an agreement. There is prevalence of disharmony in universities and even in U.N.

 If there is consensus among the Korean churches, it might be miracle. Through this miracle, the true missionary can be produced. Can this be possible in reality? In reality, churches are more fragmental than other organizations.   

 The essential miracle is that churches go to the deep into the ‘new life’ and then evangelize ‘new life’ to the world which is consolidated by physical orders. Christian should go through these hardened recognitions and make peoples open to spiritual dimensions.

 The Eucharistia is the symbol of this action. We can deeply experience the importance of physics because bread and wine transpose like the blood and flesh of Jesus in the Eucharistia. Through the Eucharistia, we can obtain the spirit, ‘the five loaves and two fish’ and it can take place right now. We can be satisfied with less food and we can leave something. Can we have this experience? 

66

Five thousand people were fully satisfied after having ‘the five loaves and two fish’. Could this dramatic incident be realistic in our present day life?

Karl Marx was interested in this issue. In his point of view, the ideal world is that people work depending on his/her ability and taking things according to his/her needs. In other words, they are not greedy but have an attitude of sharing with others; they always keep rooms for others who are in need. This ideal world might be similar with that context in which ‘five thousand people were satisfied’.

I hope this ideal world had come to reality. Actually, it is the motivation of humanism. Historically, ideal of the initial Christian community pursued the same goal as in Act 4: 34, 35. It also mentioned Act 2: 23-47. According to these verses, sharing of ownership and usages are the principle of the initial Christian community. It is similar with an abbey where people live in accordance with their religion. If it comes to reality on the earth, every body can be satisfied.

However, the case and happening mentioned in Acts, was not the ordinal things.  It was temporary historical incident and it might be able to get through the disciples who lead this community, since they believed that Jesus might come again during their life time. Churches of today could not inherit the legacy of the belief and virtue of the early Christian community as mentioned in 2 Corinthian 11:22. The rich amass all their own food which are then brought to the church leaving the poor was unattended. The world where every body is satisfied might be too far to reach. However, we should not cease to strive for this virtuous goal.

67

 The fact that the Marxism known as the working class could attain the ideal world and receive a great deal of satisfaction through the proletarian revolution could be partially right. It is my endeavor to point out the difference between Marxism and Eschatology even as I intend to understand the historical process.

  

Although the goal of these two theories is similar, they are contrasted to each other in the real world. Both of the theories pursue the humanism world; however their foundations are in contrast, Christianity is based on theism, on the other hand Marxism is based on materialism. Although the reversed word of materialism might be idealism, theism is also totally different from the materialism, as it represents the reality of spirit. Roughly, Marxism approaches the human through materialism while Christianity approaches the human through the spiritual point of view.  

If the world of justice only can be built and gives the true freedom to the human being through the properties and distributions, the Marxism is true. For animals, this theory might be true, but it is not for human beings. A king, who has everything, can be unhappy while a beggar can be happy without material things. It shows that for human beings the real freedom for human cannot be attained through the materials on earth.

68

The problem is not only with Marxism but capitalism which is the opposite of Marxism is also based on materialism. The two theories look different but the basic principle of the two is the same. If we carefully check and analyze this, we can find this. The only difference between the two theories is that what is prior ‘distribution’ or ‘accumulation’? The original capitalism move basis on the ‘principle of market’ so the government does not interrupt market. After failing the Marxism, Neo-liberalism which is developed from capitalism, is prevailing all over the world and it is regarded the best remedy and give abundant materials to the people.

However, can the government and market provide as much as people want? How much will it be need for people to be satisfied and make remaining? Is it possible when the GDP reaches till $50,000? If we try to build the welfare state, it might be possible. However, can we all are satisfied? Actually, it is impossible.

We, men, cannot be in a situation in which everybody eat fully and make remaining the food. Because in mechanism basis on human who try to get and built some things for their own pride, cannot give people the satisfaction. In this context, the remained twelve baskets is not human work but Messiah. It means only the Messiah can give us the true satisfaction.

69

Yesterday, I referred that the case of ‘five loaves and two fish’ is possible only with the ‘Messiah’. We are not to accept the fact that Messiah performs supernatural power. This is not the point of discussion.

Anyone who has close relationship with the Messiah would not be mesmerized and deceived by physical and visible appearance because they have experienced different level of life with the Lord. He would behave like someone who has personal experience with the Lord and would not have any concern with the worldly popularity. Such kind of people might be satisfied with ‘five loaves and two fished’.

Early Christians heard about the ‘five loaves and two fish’ and they believed. Accordingly, they accepted Jesus as the Lord. So the case could be happened among them. They give two messages to our present churches of today. First, a church should concentrate on the Jesus rather than the phenomena of five loaves and two fish’. Christianity should know only one and believe Jesus is Christ’ then, we stand firmly on the faith without being shaken by miracles. Second, in case a church is built on the real faith of Jesus, a church may happen the same thing ‘five lave and two fish’. Since they know and have experience the miracle of real life, they can live every day in the state of miracle in their lives.

70

Now, it is time for us to analyze the implication of “Five loaves and two fish” and see what it means to our ordinary life. In case the discipline cannot be related with our casual life, it could be meaningless. Christianity does not ignore the everyday life, although Christians are waiting for the surpassed reality.  Christians think that every day life is important.

The ‘Incarnation’ is the basis of the Christian faith. Keeping aside the subject of five loaves and two fish for a while, let us see whether there is a gap between faith and ordinary real life. Many Christian might confess that there are some gaps and division between their faith and real life. The principle of life does not correlate with faith, and they regard the Christianity as source of information or knowledge while some people dedicate everything to the cause of religion.

Apparently, their life and faith are consensus. However they violate the norms and rules of Christianity. So, both of them is not healthy. The former lost the power of Christianity, the later lost their life. The separation between life and faith can be seen in the church where there is no more concern for the ‘subject of faith’. Similarly it could happen to family. They cannot discuss and share the subject of faith such as death, pain, creation, salvation, revelation, termination, freedom, prayer and so on. This clearly proves that there is no faith in their ordinary life.

71

There are ample reasons which create a gap between faith and practicality in our everyday life. However, the main reason is the lack of proper understanding of faith. Then, can every problem be solved by proper understanding of faith? Faith plays a vital role in life and we need to nurture it and gain power in it. Proper understanding of our faith is the basis for Christian growth and ultimate maturity.

There are people who have deeper understanding about faith. There are also people who know well about Bible. Actually, the Pharisees thought that they knew the Bible and faith well. This pride and arrogance have acted as a big hindrance for them to come to Lord Jesus Christ.  Do you think faith is the accumulation of knowledge?

These days the Pharisees in Korean churches are elders including some pastors.  Although they have the authority of churches, they do not know the real faith.  They have deep concern on how to get authority of the church one source of which come from the consensus of the meeting of the Church elders. Such attitude of hunger for authority in among the church elders cannot be generalized but there is undeniably a tendency of going after authority and power among them rather than having real faith. From there creates the gaps between faith and ordinary life.

72

The church congregation does not have satisfaction with the leaders of the church for their lack of true knowledge about Christianity. It seems that nobody dares to tell the truth about the parade of ‘a naked king’.  They deceive each other. This kind of fake mission and lack of spirituality began to breed in the church. Maintenance of proper and regular prayers, offering and teaching children the word of God in the church with full dedication are some indications of spiritual strength among believers. It is also a pointer to spiritual strength if one is conscious about his spiritual status. However, unfortunately many do not know about his or her spiritual status. They are in a state of spiritual oblivion. The pretension of spiritual boost of the Christian community can be compared to pretension of mutual love between a husband and a wife in the sight of others. Or they have an illusion that they love each other without having true love. It happens consciously or un-consciously or as an illusion.

Under this circumstances, the church community aught to be honest and sincere toward the strengthening of our faith in the church, otherwise there is a risk of spiritual degradation in church as a whole. No one can declare that he/she could not believe and accept some points in the Bible taught in the church. If one is advised to pray harder or is rebuked for not having strong faith, one may give up speaking about faith or stop associating with God fearing people. Later on they may deliberately cover their lack of understanding about Christianity out of negligence.

Does it mean that every believer should be a theologian? In my opinion, we should study about theologies, although we cannot be experts. At least, we should know the spirit and the essence of Christianity.

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There are many Christians living without the in-depth knowledge of Christianity.. They know just the word of Bible, revelation, creation, termination and justification without understanding their real meanings. Their interest is not in matters of faith but the life of a church. To say all these is not just a criticism or an attempt to expose my knowledge. As I retrospect my past life I could recall the time when I was a diligent passionate Evangelist and a pastor but did not know the real meaning of faith and had a shallow understanding about true Christianity.

What do the modern Christians think of the concept of sin? Do they know the reason why Christians treat sin with its seriousness? They might know that sin is inherited from Adam and Eve. Or they may give a list of sins in Bible. In the society in which we live people began to generalize sin with the violation of psychological or ethic standard. So, they do not deal and confront with essential of sin. Then, what is the difference between Christianity and reformed movement of ethic or healing by psychological method?  It is not the real healing, although it gives some result. And it may give some good result, but it is not the way of Christianity. The sin of Christianity is related to the perfection of life, since the damage and destruction of life come from the sin. In this point of view, the discussion of sin is still open-ended question. Then what destroys our life? As those persons claim of Freud and Nietzsche, the faith of Christianity destroy our life(Leben)?

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In the preceding meditation we have dealt with the question, ‘does the faith of Christianity, especially in relation to sin, destroy our life?’ It sounds rather too much of a rude expression so I would like to add some more explanation. We should admit that sometimes our life is not healthy. It does not mean that we are unethical or shameful. My point contention here is that the sense of guilt as a Christian destroys our life.

The emphasis on the consciousness of guilt is the main characteristic of the Puritan. The puritan stresses too much that sin should be exposed and consider that everybody covers their sins. Whenever they have chance they point out the unhealthy society and crimes. They even consider that laziness in maintaining a life of sanctity as sinful. It is right. Yes, it is good everybody to be a role model. However, we should know these kinds of sins are closer to the result of sins than the sin itself. If we are under sin, we cannot commit sins. That is, the theology of sin is more essential and more ontological things.

There is now a perfect answer for the question ‘why human commits sins’. In Bible, the Satan is the primal mover who deceives; it might be one of the fables. This cannot give the essential and the final answer. Activities of Satan oppose the activities of the almighty God. Finally, the sin is related to the freedom of human; however, nobody can give the distinct answer about sins.

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Sin of human can be better explained in the context of human’s free will. Adam and Eve could have resisted the temptation of the snake, but they chose to yield to it. It is the free will of human.

Does God fail to fulfill his purpose of creation as a result of his permission of the freedom of choice granted to human? No, God already knew that human would go against God’s will. However, God gives us the free will. Therefore, it is the essential evidence that God loves us. It can not be considered true love without being tested. God gives us free will and let us choose whatever we want. It is the evidence of God’s ultimate love.

Reverse will be the situation, if God does not permit us the free will? There is a good example in the world, such as ‘Mama Boy’. Let us suppose all human are Mama Boys in the sight of God. There is no love and relationships and there is no happiness.

However, only the factor of free will does not give a hint for solution of sins. Human would not fall in sins without temptations. Then where does the subject of temptation come from? And, who permit the snake to lure Eve? Is there a subject who is against God?

There are a lot of questions to ponder upon? Let us stop here and do not go deeper, since the time and space is limited here. What I want to point out here, the leaders of the churches should not just stress on the consciousness of sins without diachronic approach on the sins. The consciousness of sins without the understanding of sin destroys life.

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In the last a few chapters, I mentioned that the gap the lies between faith and life occurs due to lack of real of knowledge about Christianity. I gave an example of sin. The lack of knowledge about Christianity does not mean a lack of information of the Bible and the church. We could gain more information about Christianity than the experts could. What I want to say is that faith is not all about having the information but the life. That is, we should not remain in the information but entering the essence of knowledge. Yes, it might be not easy.

When I was a middle school student, my teacher showed the structure of an atom. There is a big round structure. A nucleus which the teacher drew as a black circle is in the middle and electrons are surrounding the black circle. And there were also neutrons. After the class, this structure of atom is imprinted. However, the real atom was not like that. The atom is almost a room. And the nucleus is too small to be counted. Moreover, most of atom has energy. What I learnt from school was a dead and meaningless knowledge.

In my point of view, the world of faith is similar. Many people who collect information and cannot enter into the essence of knowledge of faith but remain in the wrong information. As long as they collect the wrong information, they cannot enter into the essence of knowledge and they will linger in the gaps between faith and life. Even if they show strong religious actions, they suffer the pain caused by the existence of gaps between faith and real practical life.

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What kind of relationship and meaning do the ‘five loaves and two fish’ and our life have? To be able to answer this particular question, we need to have keen consciousness and experience of our lives that we spend everyday. As we grow older we tend to take our lives for granted and we do not give serious thought to it. During the adolescent period, people think and share about this matter. However, after they have reached the stage of adulthood, people hardly talk about that and concern this issue any more. The attitude toward life would soon get reversed.

There might be a good excuse that we could adapt well with the things in the world. It can be said mannerism in life. It is no exception for Christians. Christians talk about the creation, life, love, resurrection; however, people who apply this question into their everyday lives are very rare. These phenomena show that the faith of Christianity can fall into mere mannerism. To go deep into the consciousness and experience of life is that our life does not conclude and decide yet.

After being born, we learn for 30 years, work for 30 years, and rest for 30 years after retirement. During the life cycle, we bear children and accumulate properties and gain social recognition. Everybody lives in similar way and similar life cycle. If our main concern is only for this earthly livelihood, we will not be able to learn anything from the lesson, “Five loaves and two fish”.  Even without Jesus, we could be able to live a happy life. There are many Christians by name who blindly believes Jesus and who could not radiate the light of Jesus in their life. Our lives may prosper even without the knowledge of Christ but the fact remains that there is an invisible need for Christ as an essential bread of life, in this life cycle.

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Paul said in 1 Corinthian 15: 19 “If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men”. 1 Corinthian chapter 15 is known as ‘the chapter of resurrection’. He said that the essential life is resurrection. If this world is all in all and there is no resurrection, then Christian would be the most pitiable section of the world community. In this context, Christians have nursed the hope which does not exist, they may be considered foolish. Also we are to be more pitied, since we could not have the enjoyment that the world offers.

However, we have the resurrection and we cannot imagine anything without the resurrection. Somebody claims that the ethical life is the most important factor for a Christian life. However, this person does not know the core of Christianity. The gospel in the Bible interpreted the disciplines and cases of Jesus in the light of resurrection. Without resurrection, the life and disciplines of Jesus are not different from life of other religious heroes or leaders.

Before getting the meaning of the everyday life, we should know the relationship between the resurrection of Jesus and our everyday life. It does not look like that there is a relationship between our ordinary life and resurrection. We are sick and frustrated and then we may die. This is something that should not happen to those who have resurrection in their lives. It seems our life is not closed to the resurrection but to the dead. This signifies that our lives do not have any relation with the power of resurrection. Then, is it really true? Don’t we have any evidence of resurrection in our life? So we feel thirsty and need it spiritually?

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In the preceding meditation, I asked you whether there were evidences of resurrection in our ordinary life or not? This question implicates that there is evidence of resurrection in our life. Then, what is it? How can we have an experience of resurrection in everyday life?

Somebody might argue that finding a ray of hope amid total frustration or getting some refreshment through ethical means is an evidence of resurrection in our lives. Or some other may consider resurrection as something equivalent to the process of germination and growth of a seed that eventually produces a flower or an egg that hatches out a chick.  These natural phenomena could be regarded as a shadow of the evidence of resurrection, but as a matter of fact, this is not the core and essential evidence.

In my point of view, the essential evidence is the communication with the Holy Spirit. It is the right experience of resurrection when man is on this limited earthly life. It will be unclear in some aspect, since the communication with the Holy Spirit is unclear experience. When we are in a state of half-dream and half awake or prayer, we may hear something. However it cannot be termed as a communication with the Holy Spirit, although it hardly happens. Moreover, it is not the core of Christianity.

The answer to this query is the word of God. The God exists in the form of the word. The creation started from the word. God said, ‘Let there be light’ and light came into existence. The word is the Dabar which has the power of creation. The Logos, Jesus, exists since the beginning. He finished the task on the earth and departed from this world and now sits on the right side of God. Now he lives with us in the form of the word recorded in the Bible. So, if we understand the Bible in a right manner, we can meet Jesus. Then we can further experience the joy of resurrection.

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Is it realistic that we can enjoy the resurrection of life through better understanding of the Bible? Then what is the basis of that? What is a realistic ground on that and not just a mere platitude explanation?

The Bible is like a guideline which can lead readers to the essential truth like a finger which points at the moon. If we can follow the direction of a pointing finger, our spiritual view can catch the moon. So the key is to see how we can follow the direction of a finger that point toward a certain prospective direction. In this process of spiritual guidance, we need the spiritual excitement. The spiritual leaping and joyful spiritual excitement does not come from the ground of unreality. The wonderful promise of the Bible includes not only the material blessing of the visible world but also the heavenly invisible things that cannot be explained in terms of worldly things. That is why we need the spiritual leaping for overcoming the worldly examples. Without the spiritual leaping, we cannot understand the Bible correctly. Just as we enter the poetic world of the poem by understanding the historical and contextual background we also enter the Biblical and spiritual world by entering into the internal unique world of the Bible.

In the world of Bible, we can experience the reign of God, his existence and the resurrection of life. If you ask me to show the specific explanation, I may not be able to explain it. Just as a person who wants to understand a poem thoroughly word by words and line by line but never understands the poems fully, I cannot make you understand through a specific explanation. Moreover, the Lord does not put limitation in the Bible. There is no restriction for him. Then how can I explain? It would be better for one to use one’s ‘feeling’ rather than ‘explanation’. Feeling is just the feeling which cannot make somebody understand. However, I am sure that we can meet God in the Bible, if we can open our spiritual eyes.

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I hope you will not misunderstand the preceding meditation, which deals with our relationship with God in terms of our feeling. This unique feeling is not the same feeling or expectation or melancholy that we have when the leaves fall to the ground in autumn. It is similar to the ‘absolute dependence feeling’ expressed by Schleiermacher or the ‘Numinose’ by R. Auto. If this is expressed in theological term it could be called a ‘resonance of spirit’

It is arising not from the psychological or emotional surface but from the recognition and experience of the essential reality. Therefore, we absolutely need to study the critical research of the Bible basis on history and theology. Without these efforts, we cannot reach the ‘resonance of spirit’. People hardly divide ‘resonance of spirit’ from human sensitivity. Somebody creates an illusion by themselves without having real experience with God. This kind of subjective experience happens frequently among the heresy.

The resonance of spirit is some sort of Norm. Sometimes we experience Him as a norm. Surely, the feeling and norm are not the same, however, both of them put on the concrete subject. If we have personal experience with God and go deeper into the relationship we may recognize him as a norm. And we can reach the step through theology. We can experience the intimacy with God whose very existence supersedes our recognition, theological training such as pain of human, reign of the Lord, the hidden heaven, sin and free will and so on. In this point of view, sensitive spirituality and theological perception are two pillars of Christianity.

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When we have developed our spiritual cognition through our sustained relationship and experience with God, we can see the world with new perspectives. We can accumulate the experience with God in our ordinary life. However, it is difficult for us because experience with God and our ordinary life are two different entities. The disciplines of the Old Testament and New Testament and theology, and pietisms are too much ideological. On the other hand, the ordinary life is directly connected with physical being and concrete dimension.

There exists a sense of discomfort among Christians to straddle between these two different worlds. The communion and experience in intimate touch with God seem to be seen only in the church and such connectivity and intimacy is not normally found in the ordinary life of a person out of the church. People pursue the experience of God only in churches, and become naïve out of the churches. Truly speaking, ordinary life out of the church is more competitive as compared to the scenario of the churches.

Yes, some of them think the experience of God is competitive even out of the churches. There are some who assume higher apostles and church leaders with greater recognition however their holistic life and religious fanaticism inadvertently destroys the faith of Christianity. Normal Christians also live in their midst.

Then, how can we accumulate and treasure the intimacy and experience with God in our ordinary life? I have not also attained the optimum level of spiritual height and obtained the warm experience with God in my ordinary life. It may be too difficult for anyone to reach the perfect and highest point spiritual intimacy. Even the person who had passed the strong spiritual training is easily frustrated and impacted by environments. Yes, it is the evident that no one has ever reached the perfect point of experience with God. In this point of view, we need the help of Jesus till death.

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What does the ‘five loaves and two fish’ mean to us even as we have experienced with God in our ordinary life? As I have mentioned earlier, five loaves and two fish has both the means for our livelihood and also for our spirit. First, we should accept it as food from the view point of ‘the resurrection of life’.  From the physiological view point, the five loaves and two fish would go through our mouth and pass to our digestive organs and finally comes out of the body. The digestion and assimilation of the five loaves and this fish gives sustenance of life and this gives an experience of resurrection.  Then, ‘five loaves and two fish’ is the seed or element for ‘resurrection of life’ and holy factor for ‘holy life’.

We cannot easily understand this. ‘Five loaves and two fish’ that is put into our body for a while, gets digested. Even our body also dies and turns to the earth. We cannot understand how ‘the five loaves and two fish’ could have direct affect to ‘the resurrection of life’. Actually, it is a secret. For any other secrets, it will be revealed after some days although we cannot know now. Moreover, I am sure that ‘the five loaves and two fish’ is one of the creations of God. And every creature gets a special meaning from God. All creatures are in the biome and everything is connected with the resurrection of life which happens in end of the world. From now on, we do not see and know and it might look ridiculous. However, it will be covered and shown to all. Merely, we do not fully know and cannot understand now.

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On my desk, there are a few things including a computer. One of them is a soft persimmon. I cut the persimmon into two equal halves. It shows some amazing things in it. The color of persimmon is scarlet, a unique color, different from other fruits. It is very soft and melts smoothly in my mouth.  The seed of this persimmon is hard and dark brown in color.

Then, what is the identity of this persimmon? We might know the past background of this persimmon. It came from the persimmon tree. After going through the repeated process of photosynthesis involving the sun and carbon dioxide, the tree finally bears this persimmon. Scientists may be able to improve and develop some parts of the plant for better productivity and quality, but they cannot create a single plant to bear persimmon. As a matter of fact, nobody can create a plant to bear persimmon.

We cannot predict anything about the future of the tree. We cannot also imagine how long this tree will continue to bear persimmons. The tree can produce fruits of its kind. It can be happened to the tree, since the tree has organic relation with other creatures on earth. The whole creature is the product of the activity of God. My point argument is that, this one persimmon represents the whole history of the creative activity of God and shows miraculous activity of God in the sight of man. It has a striking resemblance with ‘the five loaves and two fish’.

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Jesus taught us the preciousness of prayer. In the Lord’s Prayer, the phrase “give us our daily bread’ comes first, since the daily bread is the primary issue on the earth. The phrase of the Lord’s Prayer is followed by other words like forgiveness, not to the temptation and the glorification. 

There are two reasons of asking for daily bread in our prayer. Firstly, our ordinary life depends on the Lord. Secondly, we do not need to worry more than that. However, it is not easy to remain free from worries. Although it looks simple to maintain calmness of mind but it is difficult because the practical experience we have on the earth makes us to worry for tomorrow.

In this point of view, this prayer gives an important massage to us, that is, we should build the economic justice in consideration of this matter. I am not sure whether it will be possible or not, since I am not an economist. However, I believe it may possible that believers can make it possible with respect to the created things in this world created by God. The real problem is that, how can we control the balance of wealth among the rich and the poor. In spite of human efforts to eliminate man’s worries by bringing about economic equalities, it could be something impossible to materialize. I believe the matter of worries for tomorrow has nothing to do with ethics or conscience but our faith in God who provides everybody daily bread.

I heard there is one title of prayer, ‘Don’t do that’, inscribed on the wall of the church in Uruguay. One of the sentences says, ‘don’t pray give us our daily bread if you will accumulate bread for your whole life.’

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As I mentioned earlier, ‘five loaves and two fish’ is just a single meal for one person. However, 5000 people ate of this and were all satisfied and some of it even remained. It is not important to emphasize the number of people who ate the loaves and the fish. The intention of the writer is to show that this incident really happened.

We should always suppress the natural desire for increasing the number of church member. These days, the church concentrates on the expansion of church members. Sometimes the strength of a pastor is judged through the number of church members he could bind together. Our ordinary life might not be different from this structure of recognition driven life. Have you ever thought how this fame influences our ordinary life and freedom of life? Let us stop about it and think now.

Incompatibility of our faith and ordinary life is resulted in our overemphasis on the strength of the church as the marker of church growth. We should concentrate not more on the number but the individuals of five thousand people. This world is comprises of individuals and individuals are important. Those five thousand persons whom Jesus saved did not insignificantly disappear in the record of history. After having experienced with the life of Jesus, they would build churches and influence the last saved community in the end of the world.

Then, these days, how can we get experience of the events of ‘five loaves and two fish’? We already have a key from the Lord’s Prayer, ‘give us our daily bread’ and we should pursue the concrete ways with the help of the key. Lord, give us our daily bread.

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Seeking the daily bread in the Lord’s Prayer can be realized in two ways. Firstly, the daily bread should be the issue of a community and not of individuals. The governance of the world and nations should be similar to the economy of a family. In the house, the eating table is impartially justified. Dictatorship never exists in a family in matters of food. Moreover, the weaker members in the family like children are given better care by providing them more nutritious food. Then, can these kinds of family’s economic justice extend to the nations and world at large? Real socialism tried to realize this kind of regime but it failed. However, Christians who are waiting for the universal savior, the Lord, cannot give up this fervent hope.

Secondly, each of us focuses on the daily bread. Fundamentally, the real motive of looking for our daily bread should be to get satisfaction and basic subsistence for our survival and not to give prior importance on food itself. The minimum requirement for the sustenance of life on earth is daily bread. If it is guaranteed, we can survive. This system can be seen in the world of animals. Their foremost importance in life is food and breading. Human beings are aught to be different from the beasts in terms of prioritizing in their life. By way of recovering the family economic paradigm and putting it into our living standard for the sustenance of life, we can solve the world food problem.

Nevertheless, we cannot assure whether it can be materialized or not because the experiences of the world in many cases hinder the ability and potential abilities. The older we grow the worse accelerated experience we face.  To overcome this disappointment based on experience, we should firmly hold on the hope which is promised by God in the Bible. This hope can make each individual experience the abundant life and spirit and they can later change the spirit of the nations.

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There were many incidents in the wilderness life of the Israelites. Appearance of Manna was one of the significant and remarkable incidents in their lives (Exodus chapter 16). This case of manna is contrasted to the case of ‘five loaves and two fish’ found in the New Testament. The backgrounds of the two incidents bear a striking similarity. Hunger of the people and their subsequent longing for food is seen as the cause of the incidents. 

When the Israelites escaped from Egypt, they faced problem of food and it became the main issue. Before exodus, they might have expected that every problem and pain would be solved if they leave Egypt. Pharaoh surrendered and the armies were drawn in the sea. Escaped from the ordeal of being slaved in Egypt, they sensed and experienced a sigh of relief for a while. However, this moment of solace did not last long. They faced the stark reality of life on the earth such as feeling hungry in the wild. Their situation was so desperate.

In the Bible, the Israelites collected Manna every morning in the wild. And in the evening, they got quails. Earlier, they never expected such incidents. However, they had lived on the Manna and quails for 40 years in the wild.

Was it really a miracle of God for the Israelites? Actually, the case of Manna happens even now in the Median wild as natural phenomena. The secretion of Kermes put on the leaves gets a solid shape. Then, people can collect these and eat them in the morning. Moses and his men, who lived for 40year in the wild, easily find these kinds of food in the wild. Therefore, the Israelites could survive in the wild. Isn’t it the grace of God? Israelites cannot forget the Manna which kept them alive in the wild facing such desperate condition their own survival.

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There are two characteristics of Manna in the Old Testament. Firstly, the Israelites should have collected Manna according to the daily requirement of the family members. Taking advantage of the abundance, some of them collected the manna much more than their requirement that there was no room to store them up. Some of them gathered Manna lesser than their family members. However, it was not short for their family to eat. In this point of view, Manna is the best justified food for human being. There is no difference between the rich and the poor, the high class person and lower class person, since it became even at last.

Secondly, Manna is daily food. If somebody stored Manna for next day, worms would eat up the stored Manna. Therefore, the Israelites should depend on only the daily Manna. It is their faith. Frankly speaking, they might be a little worry and hesitant to depend their life on this daily bread. Sometimes it rained and sometimes, they fall sick that they could not collect the daily bread. And also they worried about wars which could happen. So, they might think that it would be safe if they could collect Manna and save them for a few days. But we learn that those who are physically fit are found to be far away from God. On the other hand, those who are satisfied with the bare daily needs are found to be closer to God. And we are satisfied with daily survival and are closer to God. It is the mystery of the working of the spirits.

The Israelites thought Manna was special food from God. The point of this case is the grace of God, not the Manna itself. In the barren wild, where it gave hard condition to survive, God gave them grace to survive. Till today, the grace of God is the source to sustain our life. Can we further experience these kinds of grace?

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Although the Israelites experienced the grace of God in the form of Manna, this grace could not change the most essential part of their life. When they starved, they accepted the Manna as the grace from God. However, in the ordinary life, Manna is considered as a trivial event. It is so strange. While they were in the grace of God, in the form of manna, they had complaining heart, doubt and they wandered.

I do not think the Israelites were so proud of them-selves or did not concern God. Moreover, it shows that the impact of their experience of God’s grace was so weak to sustain their spiritual agility. In my opinion, we do not have the spiritual ability to keep the experience of God’s grace. At times, the grace of God turns to a trivial thing. You might have similar experience. Sometimes, you have the faith that can even move a mountain and at other time, you fall in slump.

The main reason of our spiritual inconsistency is that we accept the grace in our subjective standard. The subjective experience of God is the confidence evidence towards God, at the same time, it is easily swayed away. For the sustenance of grace of God, we should fully depend on deeper spiritual level rather than on these subjective experiences of faith. For that, we need our faith on higher perspective of our objectives. The right way to objectify the faith is to learn from the great spiritualists who had developed the faith 2000 years. You can keep the grace of God in your ordinary life, if you can make identify yourselves with one of their partners. 

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In explaining the implication of the ‘five loaves and two fish’ and the ‘Manna’, I mentioned about the grace of God several times in the previous meditations. The events of five loaves and two fish and the manna are the visible expression of God’s love. Then, why do we call these as ‘the grace of God’. What is the grace of God?

The word grace means “Gratia” in Latin or “Kalis” in Greek both meaning gift which is free of cost. Some people insist that it is the nature which gives us these kinds of gifts. They contend this way as they do not know that God is the creator of the nature. In this context, there is a big gap between the understanding of the naturalists and that of the Christians. There is a similarity that both the group accepts the grace. However, their view points on the power of the nature are different from each other. Christians hold the view that there is somebody who is in control over the nature and the forces associated with it. The naturalists can be extreme ecologists. Although Christians are eco-friendly, they do not suspend on nature it-self. Christians think that eco-system is not the essential world. They believe the God (who created ex nihilo) will keep the all creatures in different ways, even though the nature is spoiled. This is the eschatology which is based on the Revelation of John.

Somebody raises question as, ‘Does it have any meaning the present life, if we put all things on the basis of eschatology?’ It is not right. For the sake of eschatology, the grace of present life should not be forfeited. We live depending on the God’s provision which we enjoy in our present life. We rent the present life free of cost. Then, how can’t give to thank God?

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I have been to Chungdo, last October. Chungdo is carved out of Gyungsan by the Hulti hill. Passing through Gyungsan I drove down the hill along the zigzags road for a while. There came new scenes in front of me. I could not concentrate in driving, as the beautiful scene distracted my mind. The persimmon trees with persimmons fruits were all around. All hills and fields are dotted with the trees. Can you imagine the beautiful evening scene of autumn? My heart was fluttered.

Earlier, I explained about the world of a persimmon. The sun light which comes from a far distance of about 0.15 billion km, is the lover of the persimmon. They fell in love for summer. And the persimmon tree produces the persimmon.

At the end of autumn, the persimmon tree may shed its leaves. The fallen leaves later turned into manure. Some girls may collect the leaves and put these in the books. After drying the trees, they may put these on the Christmas cards. I heard the tea made of persimmon leaves is good for health. Anyway, it is too late to make tea leave from persimmon trees.

Here my point is, the persimmon tree is also a part of the whole earthly life. It shows the creative ability of God. And it signifies that we can not fully comprehend the profound creative work of God because we are just the handiwork of his creations. And as such, we get everything from God as a gift. Now, we can say that all these things are the vivid demonstration of the Grace of God; can’t we?

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Five loaves and two fish is just an insignificant quantity of food for the people. Since the multitude of five thousand people ate of the food and were all satisfied, it appeared that the quantity of food was considerably large. However, in fact, it was just for a single ordinary meal of a person.  The ordinary life is still going on everyday in our daily life.

Today is an ordinary day for me like yesterday. I ate a slice of bread and drank a cup of coffee for my breakfast. And I ate a piece of pear which my wife cut it for me. The pear was not fresh because it was in a fridge for a long time. As a part of my ordinary life, I dropped my daughter to her university. I usually drop her to university once a week. After dropping my daughter to her university, I came to my church and wrote an article. The article is about a theological speech for the 20^th annual publication of the ministry of educational institute. Having spent some time in writing, I went to a tennis court at 5 pm and played the tennis for one and half hours. Then, I went to my house for dinner. Knowing that my youngest daughter would come back from her school, I brought some Korean fried chicken for her. After dinner, I again came to the church and I finished the article I had been writing. Then, I am writing this section.

These things happen in my ordinary life. These ordinary activities are very precious for me like gold and silver. This daily ordinary life constitutes my whole life. Yes, I do not know the meaning of my whole life and neither do I know how one activity connects the other. I might not know the exact meaning of my life till end of my life. The result of my overall activities will be decided by God when I see Jesus face to face on the last day. At that time, I might come to know the meaning of the whole activities I have accomplished during my ordinary life. Setting aside the curiosity of this question, now I live diligently.

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The last scene of ‘five loaves and two fish’ gives a very significant meaning in John. The people who had seen the miracle attempted to make Jesus as the King. Jesus got the glimpse of the mad rush and unnecessary adulation and therefore he tried to avoid them escaping to the mountains.

People want to get plenty of ‘bread’. So, the person who solves the problem of ‘bread’ becomes their Messiah. The attitude and desire of the public has not changed fundamentally. Present generation also have the same desire toward ‘bread’. Everybody thinks ‘money is rule of the world’. Koreans exaggerate that the best role of the next president in Korea is ‘economic development’. In this trend, the present paradigm of the world is ‘Neo liberalism’ and this logic leads the world. The Messiah of this days claims to develop the competitive power through individual liberty.

However, Jesus discouraged their wistful endeavour to make Jesus the king. Even he had disciples not to mention about this. Then, what is that mean? It clearly indicates that salvation cannot be attained through the solution of bread problem.  The Messiah Christians believe in does not solve the problem of bread rather he brings the power of resurrection through the cross.

Although the utmost importance of resurrection in our personal life cannot be questioned, nobody can disregard the role of bread in the world. The point is that the problem of bread is undoubtedly important to be addressed to but no one should ignore the vitality of salvation in our lives. Solution for bread problem cannot be the solution to human soul. The salvation comes only from the God alone. The Christians are awaiting that. We are waiting for the perfect life that would be realised with the Advent of Jesus.

95

Right after the event of the ‘five loaves and two fish’ there developed another reaction from the crowd. Many followers withdrew after Jesus proclaimed that the people should live by the heavenly bread, which is Jesus himself, and not by the physical bread. They were the common people and not the 12 disciples.

They had no interest in the heavenly bread because it is not visible and tangible. When they heard Jesus saying this particular statement, they complained that it was difficult (John 6:60). The disciples also could not fully understand the word and even the brothers of Jesus did not believe Jesus (John 7:1).

 
They might find it difficult to digest this word since they were not interested in it. Actually, when we are not interested in something, it becomes a difficult thing to us. So, the people withdrew from the scene leaving behind only the 12 disciples. Then, Jesus asked the 12 disciples ‘Are you also leaving?’

These days, leaders of churches concentrate too much on holding the the congregation in their church. So, the leaders develop many means and way to make them remain. Therefore, faith is degenerated and degraded into a sort of entertainment. The leaders provide them the bread which the public is interested in. In this way, the churches can hold people for a while; however they can not provide the heavenly bread. When the public attempts to leave on account of bread, what can we do? There is no special ways. The leaders should only focus more on the word of Jesus and live with the heavenly bread.

96

Is there any contradiction between praying for daily bread and seeking for the heavenly bread! Jesus teaches us to pray for daily bread which is essential for our survival. Praying just for daily signifies our humility in the sight of God. To be humble is the basis of our Christian growth and this is the stage where we can get the spirit of God in our lives. In case, we focus on the life itself, we can feel free and experience the salvation. It is the sign of the daily bread.

It might be difficult to practice such humility. Even me, who deliver this message, cannot be on that much humble place. What is the reason? We are so much attached to the world. The world teaches us if we are not rich, we may be uncomfortable. Without money, we cannot support the children’s education and get medical service. It is a conventional acceptance that the poverty is a curse. We are never satisfied with the daily bread alone.

The more we get closer to the patterns of the world, the farther we get drifted away from the heavenly kingdom. We cannot completely cut the worldly attachment and turn heavenward. As proclaimed by Jesus, God’s world had reached the earth but the worldly experience and even the religious precepts should not be taken as the absolute truth. When our spirit becomes free, we can pray for daily bread and accept it as the heavenly bread.

97

Earlier I mentioned that seeking for daily bread is same as seeking for the heavenly bread. Some people agree with this point and other people understand this partially still many others disagree with this. Those people who accept this fact might not also practically experience this belief in their real lives. 

Let us take some examples to explain this. One person earns 3 million won per month but his/her salary is reduced to 2 million won. Accordingly, they also have to reduce their family expenditures on private academy fees for children and stop eating out side. For the first few days, they might feel out of place and find it hard to regulate with their normal life. But with the passage of time they would soon get used to this way of life. Even the family members could become happier than ever before if they consider for one another in all aspects of family life.

Let us think of the worse case. If I meet with a car accident, then one of my legs will be amputated. Then, I may have to give up most of my entertainment items such as tennis, driving, stalling etc. However, I may get used to it after some time. Even I may get some kinds of social benefit as a handicapped person. I think I should stop the examples what I never suffer, since some people who suffer from these difficulties might feel unpleasant. The central point of the message to deliver here is that even if there is a tremendous change in the physical parts of our lives, the intrinsic standard of our life will remain the same. The vital power in life is the spirit that seeks only for daily bread.

98

Nobody can live without food in this world. Seeking for our daily bread is the need of everyone. Therefore, public demands for bread is reasonable and cannot be suppressed. At this hour of their desperate need and demand, what could be our response? Should we promise them that God will give them the surprised blessing and miracle such as ‘five loaves and two fish’? Or should we tell them to ignore the physical needs and wait for the eternal God’s world.  

I cannot give a specific answer because the conditions are different from person to the other. Some people suffer from the poverty even though they are diligent and some people seek for more and more food more than their daily bread. We could be in the second category. Men have the instinct to amass maximum wealth as much as they could. Therefore, daily bread has stepped in as a standard measurement for meeting daily requirement of an individual life. Christianity should provide the different way of socialism or capitalism. It is the world of God.

Let us think of a relationship between the heaven, and five loaves and two fish, or a relationship between heaven and daily bread. When we think of this, we should return to ‘what is the heaven’. However, it is a big theme for us that we had better drop it. Let us make it simple. Will we be in need of daily bread in heaven? People will drink and eat and eliminate heaven? Will we look for delicious food in heaven?

99

The difference between heaven and the world of God should be clearly made. Sometimes, heaven represents the world of God but there is a nuance in it. The heaven is based on the eschatology. On the other hand, the world of God could happen even in the present time. We might go directly to heaven right after our death, but we can experience and enjoy the peace and joy in this world of God. The New testaments talks about the two terms directly but the two concepts cannot be divided in a water tight compartment. So we need to go back to the main theme.

According to Revolution, the heaven is the new sky, new earth and New Jerusalem. There will be no tears, no sadness and new pain. Besides there is life of river, there are a plenty of trees with fruits in abundance. And leaves of the trees are a medicine for everybody. So, every problem that we worry in this world will be solved in heaven. There we do not have the problem of daily bread. Then, we no longer need the miracle of ‘five loaves and two fish’.

We live in this world for a while just before the new world comes. We worry about daily bread and occupied with desire of the miracle of ‘five loaves and two fish’. Although we have limitation, we should focus on the world of God, since we live under control of God. Not just after death, but just live now in the world of God and heaven. Remember the proclamation of Jesus, ‘the world of God has come so close’

100

The event of five loaves and two fish is like a double edged blade. It shows that God can perform miracles even out of small things. This miraculous event also exposed the true nature of man who has natural interest in the physical things. Man’s natural interest is not only limited to five loaves and two fish, his life is consisted of such similar scenarios. 

 The knowledge helps us recognize God seriously and at the same time it also helps us understand the vanity of human knowledge. Good health gives us abundant life as well as physical temptations. In the similar manner, the growth of churches provides energy to the members, it also degenerates the growing ideology or the reputation through monitory contribution.

In this context, we do not need to concentrate on phenomenon itself. Such phenomena that have happened are meant for the people who lived in 2000 year ago, since they could not understand God’s way of salvation. We should experience of God’s salvation in a different way. It is the Christian spirit to understand this during our life.

Many people think the five loaves and two fish is the physical blessing for individuals or approaches only by the spiritual aspect. However, we should catch a different dimension through the five loaves and two fish. Look at our lives. In the case of five loaves and two fish, the people ate it and were satisfied. However, nowadays, we have more than what they ate but we are not satisfied. The event of the five loaves and two fish could the basis for building up our economic justice in our present world of faith. From now on, we should focus on elimination of inequalities through equal distribution of wealth amongst the members to the communities of the world.